be more forgiving

today is truly the test for this goal. can i really forgive someone when they make repeated mistakes that hurt me? would i be able to move past all the ugliness and find peace? are all things worthy of forgiveness? i wish i had the sort of love and kindness that Buddha has for mankind. i wish i knew what is the right thing to do.

i tend to get a lil relentless when i think i’m right, especially when i’ve been hurt. i drive the other person to the corner with reason and anger, and i’m excellent at doing so.

but part of growing up, is realizing that everyone makes mistakes, and hurt others unintentionally. i certainly do it to others, and when i do, i hope to be forgiven as well.

i want to find love and forgiveness in my heart, especially for those that i love. i think it will help me grow much more as a person.

For me staying angry is hard and really not worth all the time and effort. I got into an argument with a family member and we didn’t talk for several days. I needed some time to think and just cool down. But I realized that I don’t want to be the type of person that holds onto grudges. I think its important to let other people know where you stand but its also important to let things go and move forward.

Someone I really trusted and loved with all my heart and soul hurt me deep and hard. He did the one thing I told him never to do and that I can never forgive him for. He cheated and lied to me. He said he did it just to have revenge on his two-timing ex-gf. The bitch and slut is still hovering in the background because his family were quite close to her. I don’t trust him anymore and I don’t know if I still can. That’s how my life has been for almost 2 years now, a roller coaster of high and lows, of anger and remorse, of pain and happiness. I really hope to get better soon. I’ll keep on trying..

SOMEONE DID SOMETHING TO ME THAT WASN’T PLEASING, I STOPPED SPEAKING TO THEM AND YESTERDAY THEY SENT ME A MESSAGE ON AIM…AT FIRST I WAS BEING RUDE BUT THEN I REMEMBERED MY GOALS AND DECIDED TO JUST LET IT GO..THEY SAID SORRY AND I ACCEPTED IT…A GREAT FEELING TO LET THAT BURDEN GO! TRY IT!

now recall, I no longer have e anger or negative feelings towards the people who threw knives at my back or make my life hard. =)

Somebody really upset me today. Not sure if I should forgive him or just give him the heave ho and more on. I think I do need to be more forgiving of people and situations.

the pain seemed to come from a cloud above her and it rained invisible droplets of self-pity over her petite frame. the tears running down her cheeks were real, the betrayal was real and her love was… real. it was the purest kind of love. it was charity. it was brotherly love. it was the kind of love in 1corinthians13. it was true, unconditional, divinely generous love. what could she do to help the circumstances be beneficial to all parties involved? forgive. nothing could cure them of the negativity that surrounded the situation. nothing but forgiveness. she remembered a day when she had been the one who had betrayed someone’s trust in her. she could not condemn him. she wanted to make him stronger. the only way to do that was to forgive…

and so she decided she would because she could, through God, find the strength and courage to forgive him.

i know because she is me. (in the words of mjb) :]

no trouble forgiving the little things, but i cant seem to get over the big stuff.

i did try, but people are very exploitative these days. they are just user of people and not attached. but still trying