Go to therapy

So I know there is a free mental health clinic on campus and I still do not go. I almost did once, but … I really want to go, but I just have not. Something is stopping me. I guess I am afraid of being judged or someone not thinking I have a serious enough problem or my parents finding out.
I think I might be depressed, but who’s not? I occasionaly cut, but not in a bad way, (what I mean by that is that I do not do any real damage, not emergency room visits or anything like that, nothing that bleeds for more than 10 min. or so.)
I guess I really want to get a handle on my life and I want to go to therapy, but maybe I am just not there yet…

I’m reading some self-help books now. While this is not the type of therapy I had in mind, I wanted to talk to a counselor, it is a good first step for me.

And I enjoy it. If that sounds weird, let me affirm that it’s really the right expression for how I feel about going there.

I think it would be very beneficial, but I insist on doing things myself, or at least believing I can do it myself.

I have my first session of CBT booked for this afternoon. I’m a bit nervous and it’s taken me ages to make this step but I just want to feel better and I just don’t want to hurt my loved ones with my depression anymore.

that I’ve been seeing is one of the best I have ever seen. Perhaps the best.

I’m working through soooo many things.

I’m truly thankful for the perspective she gives me.

This woman has definitely chosen the right profession.

I feel that I’m already on my way, after having gone to five probatory sessions and signing up today. It wasn’t the easiest session, but I came out alright, and that’s when I knew. There will probably times of bitter regret, hating her, thinking it’s a time of waste, but right now, this afternoon, the overall feeling is one of hope. Determination. As for the goal, I’ll transform it into one of those “I’ve done it and I want to keep doing it”-things.

Yay!!!

Dang, 43things swallowed my entry from last week. Friday is the day – either stick with the therapist I’ve already had four probatory sessions with, or say good-bye to her and immediately search for someone else. Or postpone the decision, search for someone else, and “sign up” with her if not able to find someone who is perfect. She’s not. But is anybody?

I started going last week. I had my second session today.

I really like this woman a lot.

I’m looking forward to working things out with her.

She’s also obviously a lesbian and obviously with J’s therapist!

They share an office…and a house upstate. Hopefully they won’t compare notes.

who will work with me. I’m setting up an appt for next week.

sigh…....