Write a note to my younger self about something I know now that I didn't know then

Dear fifteen year old Mindy,

I just seen you about two years ago, but a lot is going to change for you! Just be yourself, you’ll learn that eventually. You will be so much happier when you be yourself, you’ll even make more friends. If you don’t comprimise or hide your personality, you would find out how creative you are. Instead of taking six math classes in high school, you could have taken more art and creative writing classes. Too late to change that now.
You’ve been writing a lot lately. Even about emotions you don’t know anything about. For such a hermit, you’re pretty empathetic.
Why do you let your parents divorce bother you? It’s a good and bad thing all at once, but things hardly change at home! Dont change schools either, jeez that sucked.
I know you hate sitting at home every weekend, having a car really is fun. You hate it now, but in two years, you remember how to be an only child again. You knew you and your sister would part ways eventually. Being alone at home again means you can focus on self improvement.
A word of advice: Who cares if people think you’re lame for how you dress, act, or what you are mostly insecure about, how you love God. You say He is number one in your life, so you shouldn’t ever be ashamed. He’s going to be a big part of your life very soon.
Good luck, things are always improving for you.

Love,
your future almost seventeen year old self

You’re smarter than the other kids in your class, but that doesn’t make you better than them. Don’t let the fact that you’re the only one being bussed to the gifted program interfere with you making friends. By the time you hit junior high, there will be lots of other kids who are just as smart.

It’s going to be cool playing Thomas Jefferson in the school play, but don’t make the mistake of looking at the audience before giving your monologue. When you blank out after doing that, go back and pretend you’re writing more of the Declaration of Independence and read the lines on the copy you’re holding. You know them, you just blanked because of the hundreds of faces looking at you.

Even though you’re having fun at Ronnie Bowser’s birthday party, when your mom comes to get you, it’s time to go home.

Your cousin and next door neighbor Kim is going to get a baby brother this year. It won’t change your relationship with her, since there’s 11 years difference between her and her brother.

Is that everything that has happened, had to happen. All the past events in my life have created the woman I am today. Tuesday, one of my engineer volunteers told my class that he’s learned more from his mistakes than the things that have seemingly gone right in his life. I had to stop him and restate those words. I’d read an e-mail from Jane Hart- the woman who facilitates Tuesday night meditation the day before. Those words resonate with me on many levels. If we always did things right, we’d miss out on some very important lessons.

Learning to live with my decisions and realizing that no matter what, I’ll still come out on top as long as my intentions, my heart, my purpose are all moving in the right direction. The situations we move through add depth to our soul. The wisdom we acquire may be helpful to others. When we share what we know and have, it creates a ripple effect and we all heal, if we so choose. Choice is key~

Glad that I did it. Glad that it’s done.

writing a letter from my self now to my future self.

I know how difficult things are for you right now, how difficult things have been for the past few years, and it feels like there’s no way out. But please just bear in mind how much the people in your life care about you. Especially your parents, so be nice to them – they’ve done (and will carry on doing) a hell of a lot for you!

People have been trying to help you for a long time now, and will continue to do so for a while yet. I know it’s annoying and frustrating, and it feels like they don’t know what they’re talking about and don’t really care, but you need all the help you can get right now. I know the hospitals are horrible and lonely, but they’re there to make you better. Use them! Try your hardest to be honest during groups and therapies, tell the staff when you’re feeling bad (that’s what they’re there for). It’s great that you have friends now, and you deserve to have a bit of fun, but don’t forget the reason you’re there.

Hang on to your friends. I know right now all you want to do is hide under your covers and not have to speak to anyone, but you won’t realise how precious your friends are until they’re gone. Your family are amazing, but you need people your own age to speak to. And use all the opportunities you can to make new friends! I know it’s scary, but you get on with people so easily you have nothing to worry about.

Be honest. Tell people how you feel, show people what you’re really like! You have no reason to be ashamed of yourself, so don’t feel you have to hide or lie.

Don’t start taking drugs. Honestly, it’s not worth it, even if they make you feel better for a bit, and even if you think you’re being careful with them. In the long term, they’ll make your situation considerably worse.

Do as many damn GCSEs as you can. Seriously, I know it’s a struggle and I know you have a lot of other stuff to deal with, but you’ll make things so much easier for yourself if you do. Even if you only manage a few.

Know that you are beautiful. People have told you before, but it’s true. You’re gorgeous. Look at all the attention you had at l/v – I know that was a bit of a shock for you! That being said, please don’t cut your hair. Even if you get really upset, even if you think it’ll help, just leave it. You’ll miss your lovely long blonde locks.

Finally, no matter how bad things get, no matter how hopeless everything seems, know that it can’t be like that forever. Things have to change, and things will change; sometimes for the better, sometimes not. But I promise it’ll be different. I know that will bring you a little bit of comfort.

To my 12-year-old self -

Magic is real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

This was a powerful and moving exercise. It is Assignment #53 on writer/artist/filmmaker Miranda July’s (and Harrel Fletcher’s) website Learning to love you more. Also now a book. Reading other peoples’ exercises was moving too. I will continue doing these…

life is for living, so be with those who make you feel alive !
Appreciate everything good in your life WHILE YOU HAVE IT.

all things -good or bad- come to an end.

be happy that good things start and bad things end.
there is positivity everywhere, you just have to look for it.

& when you find it, cherish it.
whether it’s getting excited about a sunset, or falling in love,
live consciously & KNOW what you have when you have it.
the good is there, you just have to know how to look for it.
& see it.
& appreciate it !

don’t be so self-conscious.
don’t try to change yourself to be what (you think) will make ppl like you.

be YOU.
ppl will come who like YOU.
it’s so beautifully simple.

don’t complicate it.

if you have to change yourself to make a guy happy, he’s not right for you.

Relax.
don’t worry.
pretty much everything you worry about never happens.
don’t over-analyze everything!

try to live in the moment rather than in the past.
you can’t change the past, but you can LEARN FROM IT and try to do your best in the future!

take pictures.

make pouty lips.
have sexy times but be a classy lady.

enjoy being you.
colorful.
feminine.
sweet.
shy. (it’s okay to be shy—if it’s who you are, embrace it)

don’t listen to your mean brain.
it tries to make you regret & feel bad all the time.
but DO NOT LISTEN.
it will only bring you down.
own it.
you have the power to overcome it—it isyour brain.

enjoy your sunny disposition.

don’t let other ppl make you feel like your sweetness is a weakness.

be with ppl that appreciate you for who you are.
like justin dean
<3.

don’t waste your time with crappy boys.
they’re worthless and try to change you.

ignore them, and:

be you
be you
be sweet little seventeen-year-old you.

What you say and believe will create your experiences. Do you remember when you didn’t really care for your work environment? Can you remember how much you grumbled and complained about staff meetings each Wednesday? Things will change when you shift your thoughts, feelings and perspective on this situation!

You will listen to Aaron’s advice. It’s certainly worth a try. Not only that, you will accept that it is a part of your job to be there. Roll with it. Remember that it can be light and even enjoyable. The people you sit with reflect your expectations. You know which table grumbles and which finds it a comedy.

Go in with a positive attitude. The kids will be more cooperative when you listen to them and demonstrate care and concern. When they know you care and are genuinely concerned, they will rise. Yes 31 kids is a large number to have- do what you can and ask for help from home. That’s all you can do. When you witness words and actions that disturb or rock you, plant a seed. Discuss positive choices and discuss consequences both negative and positive- make them aware that there is always a choice to be made. As J told you, you don’t have to see the seed grow or sprout, just plant it, your intention is what remains key.

Staff meetings only last an hour and you will still get home in time to see Oprah if you wish ;) The meetings will begin to seem short. Not only that, you will stay past the meeting time because you’ll begin to collaborate with others, speak with your administrators, have another laugh and feel like it simply isn’t time to leave yet~