Be the Leading Lady

So, I’ve been working on this leading lady business and it was great for awhile. It’s been fizzling out lately. The reviews, if any, seem to be good. I’m getting great feedback from family and friends are recognizing the old me again. They’ve noticed that I’ve lost weight and am focusing on myself again. It’s so reassuring!!!

Anyway, I think it’s the critic in my head that’s wearing me out. I need to shut all that negativity off again and pick up the fabulous role again! Must be fabulous! Must be fabulous me!!! Here I go again… Enter stage right!!! :)

So, I have been out of my slump like never before. I was in so deep that I felt like there was no way to pull out. I found myself again during my vacation. I’ve been focusing on “me” and it feels great. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, but someone asked me the other day if I have regrets for the things that I have done. I realized that I have more regrets for the things I haven’t done than the things that I’ve done.

A little over a year ago, I felt like I was going to die. Now, I feel like I’m living again. Sometimes, my life feels like a movie and I’m getting a kick out of how much of a comedy it is. I’d love for it to be a romatic comedy too and not so much of drama or independent film. I’m trying to simplify my life and appreciate everything that comes my way. Getting some exercise and eating healthier has been making me look and feel much better too. Loving the things I do and doing the things I love is the key. Striking up a little romance always adds a little spice to the whole mix. I just need to keep doing what works and move forward! This is my life and my script… I have to keep remembering to play the leading role. It’s hard not to fall back into the sidekick role, but that’s why I’ll keep it as a goal!!! :)

I’ve been agressively working on improving every area of my life. Over the past few years, I have taken so many hits that I fell into a slump that kept getting deeper and deeper. I started neglecting myself and felt as if I always had to put everyone’s needs before my own.

It hit me hard when Kate Winslet’s character in the movie, the Holiday, was advised to be the leading lady of her own life. Although mystiko is right in that it isn’t necessary to be the leading lady and that every character is important, I think I’ll take a different approach and keep this as a underlying goal in my life. I would like to be the leading lady of my own life while playing supporting roles and sidekick in other’s lives. I have enjoyed a good life and would love to go back to starring in my own story. After some traumatic incidents happened a few years back, something changed in me and I lost that zippy chipper quality that made me me. Lately, I’ve seen noticeable changes in my life once I started making some serious commitments to getting rid of the things that were holding me back. It seems to be getting easier after seeing so many positive results. I feel like I’m taking my life back and it feels oh so good.

So, I recorded the movie with the DVR and finally got around to watching it with my sis. It’s such a cute movie and it reminded me why I made this goal in the first place. Also, funny thing is that my other sis got the movie for me for Christmas. Yay! I have been getting back to feeling like my normal self. It’s been hard being single again during the holidays, but it’s been great being around family and friends. My life has improved immensely since I divorced my job months ago. I just have to remember to stop playing the side kick and start playing the leading lady of my own life. :)

I once thought this goal was in ways the most important to me, but now I disagree. Why do we need to be the leading lady? As humans we yearn for more. More love, more attention, more of everything. Every single character has a significance. Infact maybe there is no such thing as a leading lady. Anyone can have their story told, because it’s already being played out right in front of them. We just need to express it the way we want it to be shown.

Over the past few years, I’ve let myself go and now I’m swimming upstream to get everything back in order. While trying to work on specific goals and interests, I’ve also been trying to spend some time pampering myself. Since I find great joy in helping or supporting others, it takes a lot of effort to focus on myself. It’s been working out for me since I’ve been feeling stronger, healthier, and more youthful. Being the leading lady is a necessity, but it also takes time and effort. I’m getting my groove back…

Hee hee hee… Being the Leading Lady of your own life should not be that difficult. Apparently, I’m not the only one who could relate! I need to be more selfish, but thought that “Need to be More Selfish” as a “Thing” seems too selfish for me. Time to smile and do it!!! :)

Anyone seen the movie The Holiday….u should, it’s great. Bits made me cry and really spoke to me….one scene where Jack Black and Kate Winslet are talking, she talks about how, nothing ever goes right and she’s nice and gives her heart to people to get nothing in return etc etc and he says…..(loosely translated) “u know what ur problem is….u see yourself as the best friend in the movies….the one that watches her friend get the guy (etc)...u never see yourself as the leading lady….u are a leading lady”.....i was bawling. The scene wasn’t that sad, but i toooooootally related. I always sit back and wonder why i don’t get the things i wish for….i don’t do anything about… it feels like everyone else is getting my dream….but i need to see myself differently. There is only one of me in this whole entire world….no one else is like me…how cool! I need to stand out more….be the Leading Lady in my own world…not sit back and think bout all i don’t have and what others do…..take more pride in myself…..WATCH THE MOVIE