Stop watching my life go by

I have to admit that I’m now done with this goal. I’m kinda proud of myself, this was one of the first goals I added to my list and it is my most cheered goal of all times.

I’ve never thought that I’d do this good actually, I hope it is not a temporary situation :D

I’m quite satisfied with my current life right now, especially in those aspects.

ACADEMY

I put a really huge effort to my academic studies,I work hard indeed and I finally started to get its results and I’m getting really good grades. My exams, presentations etc. go so well nowadays :) Today, from my one of most challenging courses, I learned that I got a 95%. Even my economics exam went quite well. I’m doing good at architecture department too. Plus, my friends and professors loved my presentations :)

PHOTOGRAPHY

My photography courses give me the energy that I need about photography! I’m getting more and more motivated everyday and I started to believe in myself.

Plus, my photography teacher once told me that I’ve got an eye of a MAGNUM photographer! ^^ I cannot describe it with words how much it made me feel good :)

SPANISH

I’m becoming more sufficient in this language every passing day :-)

Personal Relations

I’ve got wonderful friends and a loving, supporting family. Every time I speak to my mom on the phone, she tells me that she’s proud of me. Oh, it feels so good. So so good.

And many other things are going great that I cannot recall now.
Most importantly I’m standing on my own feet and getting to know myself and the world more everyday.

I need to stop sitting at home telling myself that this is what I am damned to do as an author. I need to go out, enjoy sun and nature and all that stuff. I need to go to work always, not just when I feel like it (my freelancing theatre job allows this). I just have to be there, caring about others, too. I need to change and I will! Highest priority!

In 2 weeks I am going on a 3 weeks holiday stay at the Seychelle Islands and I hope that there I can at least think about how to change and stop sitting inside. On one hand I am an artist and love to be on stage, on the other I can’t get my ass off the flat, that’s idiotic!

I wanna refresh myself and my life, let go off things, (actually I already started)

Right now, I’m supposed to be very upset and full of sorrow (see my previous entry if you’re looking for a clue) however, I’ve never felt this energetic to CHANGE things.

I wanna move forward.

^{I think I’m actually done with the first big step : Getting rid of that lingering situation and getting to a certain end.}

I was dying to have this holiday, but I wanna move on so badly that I’m returning back to Ankara tomorrow.

That’s it.

My life has never been this full and I’m actually proud of myself that I think I was completely successful about building a new life and opening a new chapter.

I’m sleeping only 5-6 hours a day and always running to somewhere and I’m getting completely exhausted.

And oh.. I’m soo loving to be exhausted because of something that’s meaningful to me (:

Well, btw.. To have this new crush does not hurt when it comes to being in a good mood either :D

The fall is gorgeous, my courses are wonderful, I’ve got awesome friends,

I think I was never treated this good by life. Lalalalala

and you know what?

I think I even started to like Ankara :D

I’ve got more than 100 cheers for this goal right now and everytime I get a cheer for this goal I feel guilty and sad.

Because this means how much this is important and people think that I should do this!

And the more cheers I get means that I’ve been procrastinating!

Since I adopted this goal, many things didn’t go as I expected.

And I have actually no idea about how to not watch my life go by..

All I know is, I WANNA PARTICIPATE IN LIFE!
I need a revolution or a miracle..
As soon as possible !!!

Yeah sitting here still doing nothing isn’t living life to the fullest. And you only got so long to live. Why sit here doing nothing til the time goes by why not go ahead and do something with your life.

getting there.

This frustrates me somtimes because I am trying to define my self as a man/person through my actions and lifestyle and job etc

What I am finding is by wanting to learn from my experiences and wanting to do as much as I can of every thing worth while and not actually knowing where to start that I am comming to a stand still a little bit! Its tricky to explain! its mainly to do with my work/career options! I want to sus my ideal job out and get started asap and become great at it! the only trouble is choosing a path! I wanna help people, be mentally stimulated I want to be in a respectable job that is a little speciallised aswell! But most of all I want to help people whilst having and adventure and sculpting ME!

This summer I’m gonna do a revolution in my life… And this one includes being beautiful…Well, I’m pleased with myself most of the time… But I want to forget about my past and all the people who is called with an “ex”... So I want to be, or at least feel more beautiful to make some of them regret… And after I get in a nicer shape, I should change my wardrobe a bit… But this summer I want to be totally changed, not only as looking… I’m gonna struggle for it !!! Now I’ll go an do sth… I should not waste my precious time in front of the PC anymore…!!!