do more things that scare me.

First I moved to London, and then I was offered the opportunity to spend 6 months working in Moscow…it is so scary living in a country where you understand almost nothing…but I can already feel myself growing stronger as a person…it will be good for me I think…

It was a great weekend as far as doing things that scare me was concerned…

1. Wore my new dress;
2. Went river rafting;
3. Jumped off a 5m rock jump;
4. Slid down a 2 storey high hanging slide.

So all in all rather chuffed with myself!

So this probably wont feature on most people’s lists of scary things but I bought myself a dress to wear to my birthday party this Friday and it is a little bit more unusual than I am used to…not the kind of dress where I will just blend into the crowd! Its black but has one of those bubble skirts (kinda like they had in the 80’s) but its short (rather short!) and just really pretty and playful! I love it but for some reason wearing it scares me a little! No ways I wont wear it though…

Last weekend I was invited to do a ‘breakfast run’ with a new friend who is really into motorbikes…although I immediately said yes a part of me was pretty sure that it may well just be one of those situations where people say “lets do this” and then you never hear about it again…so I was a little surprised when the invitation re-materialised in a much more concrete format in my inbox a couple of days later…of course, this meant that I could no longer ignore the consequences of my acceptance…I have never been on a bike, the closest having been an encounter with a scooter some 8 years earlier which scared the daylights out of me…also, having told a couple of people about my potential plans I was met with a number of horror stories and a general consensus that I was crazy and that it would be irresponsible to go…
But a part of me had resigned itself to the fact that for whatever reason, I could not say no…I had to go. I figured there were three possible outcomes:

1. I survive and enjoy it; or
2. We are in an acident and I die; or
3. We are in an accident and I get brain damaged and/or very badly injured.

I figured that since there are no guarantees about staying alive anyway the only eventuality I could prepare for really was an accident where I am badly injured. So on Friday before leaving work I prepared a living will so that in the event something di happen, there was no way that I would be kept alive as a vegetable…

And after much trepidation Sunday morning dawned and I was kitted out in all the biker gear, the jacket, the gloves and of course, the helmet! I felt strangely safe after being ensconced in so much protective gear though nothing prepared me for the feeling as the bike first pulled off! Think (actually it was confirmed!) that I clung to the driver like a marsupial to its mommy!

But it got better, I relaxed and after about an hour of watching the road intently for any turns for which I need to mentally prepare myself and a hearty breakfast break I felt infinitely more comfortable! It was the strangest feeling…I felt that I was in an arcade game, I felt hard-core, I felt anonymous, I felt free, I felt alive…

It was funny because I could see how other drivers on the road reacted differently to us because we were on a bike…it made me think of the concept of uniforms again…there I was, probably the girl least likely to be found on a bike, but with the biker gear and helmet, I was, for that moment, one of “them”. I was aggressive,hard, dangerous.

Yet, we were at no point reckless…it was actually rather startling to see with how little consideration most other car drivers treated the rules of the road!

My favourite part of the day was when we got caught in a bit of a rainstorm…Not only could I smell the rain but I could feel the droplets splashing on my helmet, hitting my legs as we sped towards home, racing through the elements!

I really think that I want to do this again!

In the interim, am making plans for river rafting in two weeks time and a canopy tour in the Magaliesberg so should have many more things to scare me in the near future! :)

I went kayaking, despite the advice of family and friends. It was really fun and I did not fall in the water! In fact, it was great although I was really slow at paddling at first. I am so proud of myself for doing it even though I was scared and could think of many reasons to not to do it.

i think i am well and truly on the way to being a scary-things doer. not that the things i do are particularly “scary” per se, but they scare me or seem totally overwhelming.
things like travelling alone, flying in aeroplanes, riding ferris wheels, confrontation.
i am beginning to be the kind of person who will push through fear for the benefits on the other side. and it’s awesome!