stop being afraid of everything

to keep being afraid. Maybe this seems paranoid, but ever since I got sick was I was 13 I feel like I have this target on my back or a bruise I just can’t get rid of.

I feel exposed. I feel changed because of that and almost 5 years later I feel myself get all scared of getting another illness or they’ll say it’s chronic or the drugs had harmful effects on my body.

It’s constant thoughts like this that hinder me.

CM

overcome my afraidness in my dailylife

i want to live an unapologetic life. i’m free to do anything i want, so why am i so fettered by my insecurities?

It’s time to mark this goal “done”. Since my last entry, I’ve realised there’s less and less I’m afraid of. Sure, I have a short list of situations and activities which unnerve me, but compared to six months ago, they’re nothing.

Since joining 43T I’ve overcome my fear of:

• visiting a nude beach
• posting naked pictures of myself online
• revealing my feelings
• showing my true self
• being rejected (maybe)

With those off my list, no way can I say I’m afraid of everything.

I think I’m going to hate myself for the rest of my life for the descisions I’ve made based on my own fears.

Fear of failing.
Fear of succeeding.
Fear of anything and everything that someone else might think when they look at me.

I am only the product of my flaws.
And now everything is going to get worse.

For years, I’ve thought I was afraid of needles. Today I realised I’m not. Having been tattooed, pierced 11 times and injected more times than I remember, how can I possibly be afraid of needles?

For my own benefit, if nobody else’s, I need to point out that not being afraid of everything is not the same as not being afraid of anything.

After yesterday’s incident, I’ve realised I’m not afraid of electric shocks :-)

I’m not afraid of heights. Being high doesn’t bother me. Even the thought of falling doesn’t bother me. At least it’d be all over.

I’m not afraid of dying :)