take myself less seriously

Looking back on the life I have, what it has been like, wow, what a serious dude I have been. I know that’s not always the true me, there’s a sense of humor inside somewhere and how beautiful the site I feel when I can show it.

Part of the problem I know is I have issues with being nervous, does it suck? oh hell yeah, Butterflies wait to burst out from inside me, and I skulk away from social situations.

i’m doing much better about this and worrying less. i’m learning to talk myself down whenever my brain gets going. “there’s nothing you can do about this right now. you’ll cross that bridge when you get there.” OR “there is nothing you can do about this except have a positive attitude.”

i need to quit analyzing every little thing and just LIVE MY LIFE!

really is holding me back…at work, at home, personal relationships…EVERYTHING!!! i am working on this via positive psychology research, selfhelp books, hubs helps too.

“Perfectionism is like a double-edged sword—it cuts both ways. Perfectionists often don’t realize that they are hurting themselves by their own actions. Perfectionism is a duel with oneself, the ultimate “no-win” situation.

Perfectionists tell themselves that their determination to be perfect will win success, acceptance, love and fulfillment, yet the opposite more often occurs. Even when perfectionists do achieve, the methods they use can deprive them of the very love and acceptance they want so badly to gain.”http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/perfection/perlogo.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/perfection/perfect.html&h=154&w=225&sz=9&hl=en&start=11&sig2=qtmFazFyFB6Lk7eY9CYnsg&um=1&tbnid=ytko_KYiknLXdM:&tbnh=74&tbnw=108&ei=akx2R5ilIKD6eZrzuUw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dperfectionism%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7DMUS%26sa%3DX

Because I have been a serious person my entire life. Because life is serious, but it’s important to have some fun along the way.

I’ve just got back from the park with my son, and we both had a great time climbing trees. I’d forgotten how much fun it was. I even took some video on my phone while I was at the top and will upload it into my journal to remind myself of the fun we had.

Rode childrens scooter to school to pick our kids up, and loved every second. Workmate commented when I got there how he’d gone past me in his car, and did a double-take, but I can handle his amusement, I had a great time!

Practical Tips for Handling Worry
In his book Worry: Controlling It and Using it Wisely, Edward Hallowell, M.D. offers 50 tips on how to manage worry without medication. Here are just a few of his suggestions:

Learn to distinguish good worry from toxic worry. Good worry is a catalyst for planning, action and solutions to problems. Toxic worry is unnecessary, unproductive, paralyzing and self-defeating.

Get the facts. Save your worry for real problems. Don’t let misinformation send you into a swirl of worry.

Never worry alone. When you share a worry, it almost always diminishes.

Get reassurance. Know which people in your life you can depend on to reassure you, and then ask them for help.

Ask for advice. No one is an expert on every subject. If you’re in over your head, get input from someone who’s more knowledgeable.

Add structure to your life where it’s needed. Disorganization is the source of many worries. Structure provides security and enhances self-confidence.

If you need to make structural changes in your life, Dr. Hallowell recommends picking three (and only three) tasks to accomplish. Make them specific, make them doable, and give yourself a time frame for accomplishing them. Persist until all three are done, and then give yourself a new list of three (and only three) tasks.

Use discretion with t.v., magazines, and newspapers. They’re full of bad news and potential triggers for worry.

Exercise at least every other day. It’s one of the best treatments for worry.

Pray or meditate. These time-honored practices calm the mind and help put everyday problems into perspective.

Get plenty of light every day. It helps improve mood and diminish worry.

Touch and be touched. Physical contact nourishes the soul

Use humor. Laugh as much as possible and surround yourself with amusing people.

Listen to music. While you’re at it, sing. “It’s hard to worry and sing at the same time.”

Be careful about alcohol and other drugs. Caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and other drugs (and food, for that matter) are ways to self-medicate anxiety, but they only create more problems in the long run.

how silly, really, i spend so much time worrying/OBSESSING, ALL NIGHT LONG, about whatever little thing may not have gone my way. it is always something—the tiniest coment someone makes, albeit unintentionally, can set me off, can penetrate my brain to the point where i start to go insane and my own thoughts consume me!! that’s enough of that…think of all the nice things i could be remembering, planning, scheming about…think of all the loved ones i could be thinking of, dreaming of, calling, snuggling with, hugging, telling jokes wiht. think of all the books,poems i could be reading. all the miles i could be walking or running or hiking,kayakicking. all the work i could be getting done towards making the world a better place. whew, i’ve got no time for these thoughts!

I can think up 101 things in my life that are not going the way that I want them to. Therefore, I can either get over myself and take action to change what I don’t like, or I can sit around moping, crying, and waiting for my deus ex machina for salvation. Admitting this is a first step at actualizing this goal. I don’t think there’s any better way to get over myself than to put myself on display, so here I am.