mignon cooking jam again
not exactly what I planned but: a start — 1 week ago
mom is coming for a three day visit, today-
I am picking her up from the railway station at 12:30 and am very much looking forward to it.
I had a open talk with my boyfriend yesterday- we just seem to drift apart further and further- he is constantly in a bad mood- not joining me in any activity and looking grumpy all day and that since weeks-
I do not know what to do any more- I think he is having a mild depression or something like that- or he just hates the life with me- I don´t know and I cannot make him happy- he is alone responsible for that- still I am thinking-
and I want to be light and happy again and full of joy- everything seems to be so hard and bad and wrong for him- I mean simple things in life: I try to see nice happy things whereas he sees mostly the bad things.
and he blames me for saying no to everything he says-
It is true that I say no to constant pessimism and inactivity but I do not say no to him-
I really want him back the way he used to be two years ago. not so much full of self pity and whining and bad mouthing and looking as if something terrible just happended to him.
I wished we could talk better and understand each other better.
and I do not want feel lonely anymore when I a with him.
