learn to deal with bullies

The former bully and I are on good terms these days. I have forgiven him for his previous acts. He has turned into a better person, treating everyone and me with courtesy and respect. It’s a good lesson to learn.

This bully that has been terrorizing me in the office is now afraid of me. I’ve made friends with people he hang out with. He used to intimidate me with angry looks. They gave me nightmares. I’ve learned to gradually look away, ignoring him. Then I became bold, and decided to be cheerful and smile at him. When I am happy and simply smile when he does something out of wicked intentions, it totally terrifies him.

When Jesus was being killed on the cross, he did not hatefully shout for God to bring retribution to his murderers, instead he pleaded with God to forgive the murderers. The attitude that brings victory over bullies is not anger and hatred toward them, it’s pity and forgiveness. I hate bullying. I don’t like bullies. Nobody does. I will forgive them because it makes me triumphant in the end.

I had encountered a series of workplace bullying in the past few years. Sometimes I was the target. Sometimes somebody else was the target. Nevertheless those work environments were extremely unhealthy places to be in on a daily basis. I felt conflicted. If God loved me so much, why did he let all these things happen to me?

Then I realized that neither did God protect Jesus, his only son, from vicious bullies. He allowed his son killed by the murderous jealous bullies. What he gave his son was resurrection, victory over death and sin. Neither will God give me a totally bully free life. Instead, he gives me victory over the the bullying. I will continue to encounter jealous insecure people attacking me through obvious and subtle ways. Somehow these attacks will be turned into blessings by God, and he will let me be triumphant in the end.

1. Always remember who I am. I am a precious, worthwhile person.

2. Know who the bully is. He is someone who wants to have power over others. He does not seek to build relationships of understanding and respect. He just wants to be able to do whatever he feels like and get away with it.

3. Take good care of myself. Take good care of my health. Eat well. Exercise.

4. Build good solid relationships with others. Build nurturing supportive relationships with family, friends, other co-workers.

5. Talk about the bullying with others. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

6. Be the best person I can be. This is the ultimate triumph over the bullies. The bully cannot stand to see his victims happy, healthy, fully living her potentials, with wonderful friendships and God’s blessings.

I know that when we face bullying, it’s hard to not to become bitter and angry, but that’s the very thing I have to defend my heart against. I am going to keep a loving cheerful heart and let all of the bullies’ attacks to go through me without bitterness, without hatred.

Bullies are emotional rapists. They want to occupy my time, emotions, energy, and whatever through disrespectful ways. So I should laugh at these idiots.

I have been running into bullies at work for the last two jobs. I had to move on to a new job each time. The bullies were causing me too much stress, wearing down my health, eating up my time and emotions.

I want to not to become a victim of bullying for the rest of my life, am not sure how, but I can start with a prayer:

God, you created me to live a joyful life, not a fearful one. There are bad people in this world, but you are ultimately the power above all. May you give me the wisdom and strength to never become a victim of bullying again.