develop ravishing confidence (that has backbone)

Hurrah for hippie skirts and twirling in the sunshine.

Bwahahaha! I feel fantastic.

People watch me now. It’s a bit weird. I know when I’m wearing something or saying something that is drawing the eye. I have to admit, after many years of flying under the radar (or at least thinking I was flying under the radar) being seen feels a little weird.

I hope I get over it. I would be an awful shame not to wear all those beautiful clothes, not to feel lovely and not to take care of myself just because people notice mea bit more.

Nope I think I’ll carry on for a bit longer. See how I go.

Also, told a guy who had been leading me on that I was having trouble being there as a friend whislt being madly in love with him (he had a gf so no dice there). So that was a good thing. Although I was my usual understanding, kind, stand-offish self.

BUT…

Then I kind of let loose a bit and told him that it was not on him treating me poorly. And that I didn’t like it. Ok via text which is I’ll admit a little lame…totally lame. But MY truth was spoken and I didn’t let him get away with treating me badly completely.

Excellent stuff. Huzzah!

I’m going to buy more pretty dresses and high heels :-)

turns out the guy is getting married soon. Oh well, better to know. And I didn’t make a total idiot of myself – always a plus.

But I did it. Which is kind of cool.

Today if I see him in the lunch room I will introduce myself instead of looking at the ground and mumbling. That’s the challenge.

Here’s the problem: I’m nice. I’m understanding. I’m forgiving. I let people be. I let people go. I don’t want to upset, distress or make uncomforatble. I let people think I would’t say boo. I just want to fit in.

None of this is in itself a real problem. However, when I let things be said, or done, or implied, or spread about me that aren’t nice (or are just down right unacceptable) it makes me feel like a mouse.

I don’t want to be a mouse. I want to have the confidence to say: now hold on just a minute, that’s not cricket! I want to say: you will treat me well because that’s how I deserve to be treated and I’m not sorry about that and that’s not moving or being hidden cos that’s how things are with me.

Humm…it sounds like I’ve got a solution too. All I need to do is put this all into action!!