make enough money to give my family the beautiful life they deserve

I’m making money, meeting new clients and getting better contracts. I havent been able to send a lot of money home to my wife, but I’ve been able to send enough on a consistent basis so that financial obligations are being met and bills aren’t piling up. I miss her so much though, it’s been 5 months now and I’ve only seen her twice durring that time and each time for only about two days and each time she has been in a horrid mood. I pray for simpler, more stable days where we can once again enjoy eachothers company without so many pressing issues, fears, uncertainties and doubts about the future…

When you are first starting out on a goal such as this or are for all intents and purposes starting over, it can take a while to stop the negative momentum and change the course and direction of ones affairs, financial or otherwise. I find myself at just such an equidistant point, between going the wrong direction and going the right direction and not really moving in any direction at all… But I have faith and I am resolved and with such determination and vision, how can I possibly fail?

When all you have done for years is sit around the house and smoke pot, it is amazing the ammount of money you can both spend and also fail to make. Waking up from that gives you back your impetus and your motivation, but you also find yourself starting over in a very real sense. There isn’t anything I won’t do to get a hold on the bills, and so I find myself doing hard labor and other such jobs that even a few short months ago I would not even have considered. I love life so very much and I love my wife even more. As such is the case I am able to find a great deal of pride in even the most menial of tasks, so long as it is contributing in some form or fashion to the bigger picture, which at the moment is, pay the bills, don’t let any debts go bad, and try to get ahead of the bills so that we can start to actually save some money and put it away.

My wife is by far the most incredibly giving, empathetic, caring, loving creatures I have ever known. When I met her I knew immediately that this was the woman I was going to marry. In fact I went home and told my father that very day, that I had met my future wife. He did not believe me then, but he knows the truth of it now. Lynda and I married on August, 28th 2001 on a beautiful bridge in Memorial Park in Columbia, South Carolina. Exactly two weeks later 9/11 happened and since then her parents have both passed on and her surviving relatives have forsaken her after she was the sole care giver to both her parents for over 15 years. Almost seven years later and our lives have been so uncertain and so full of instability and worry for so much of that time. Lynda has meant everything to me and yet I have been struggling with so many of my own demons from childhood and adulthood and only very recently have I begun to see the light. Only recently have I begun to truly work towards reinventing myself as the very best person I can possibly be. It may be too little too late, but nothing is going to stop me from succeeding at this goal. Nothing but death will prevent me from taking care of her the way that she has taken care of me and so many others in her life. I will not rest until I make good on this pledge. God bless my wife and all who honor her!

They met and married when they were barely out of high school. They didn’t have much money or financial help. My brother and I came along sooner than planned. My dad was starting his own business. They struggled. It was hard, but they are tougher. Twenty five years later, they are still the hardest working people I have ever met. They love each other more than I can even understand. They have truly succeeded in life. I have watched it, and I have learned from it, and I intend to do the same. Build a life that I am proud of. Part of what I am going to do is become successful enough to grant both of their biggest dreams….my mom to go to Europe and see the castles and my dad to scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef. Call me crazy, call me idealistic but if you don’t have a goal, how will you ever accomplish anything??

You watch, IM gonna do it. I love them too much to fail.