be still

goes along with “be quiet”. I move so fast all the time-physically, mentally, emotionally. I walk fast, talk fast, eat fast, process information rapidly, react quickly and emotionally, you get the idea. i just want to “be still” on so many levels. my soul is tired of all the movement.

easier and more difficult in summer when teachers like me have off. more time and less structure takes some getting used to. it’s tempting to fill up my days with as much business as I can, but I’m more free to work in time to be still, to take a bike ride, to go hiking, to do yoga.

lately, i’ve been the wrong kind of still, the kind of stillness that comes from paralysis by anxiety.

Jill Bolte Taylor

this amazing talk about the brain gave me a new way of thinking about stillness and quieting the mind. especially when she talks about the right hemisphere of the human brain.

even aside from that, its a wonderful talk about a brain scientist having a stroke, realizing it, and studying her own brain.

I finally feel ok, I broke up with my boyfriend and it was like a weight was lifted. A calmness spread over me. I was always worrying with that kid, and even though I still have feelings I had to end it. Not trusting someone and always wonderings and the wnat ifs take a toll on a person, basically anxiety. Not anymore. Plus I also realized that I didn’t have to always do for others and that I should do more for myself.

Yesterday I went roller skiing for six miles, I haven’t done that much exercise since cross country ended so by the time I was done, every part of my body burned. When I stopped, I was all alone, I had lost my team and I was in the middle of this beautifu park/ state trail, so I took off my equipment and laid on the ground with my eyes closed. and the funny thing was that i could feel the sun shinning through my body, and it sent warm fuzzies through my entire body, and for those ten minutes of me time, I finally felt at peace. Laying in the middle of a cold field with the sun shinning on my face was my moment of stillness, i felt nothing but happiness

This is a very important thing to me. I’ve studied philosophy and religion for half my life, before realizing that this is what I really wanted out of it the whole time.

I believe this is about two things, mainly: WHAT in life you allow to affect you; and HOW you let those things affect you.

I used to worry about everything in my life… this was the reason I started studying the above subjects—to find some peace in my life. And, by and large, it’s worked the way I want it to.

I doubt I’ll ever put this in the “done this” column, as this is a life-long work. It’s one that’s definitely worth doing, though.

the other day i was on my bed.. just laying there. nothing was going through my mind. no pointless thoughts. no worrys. no sound. i was calm. i was awake but sleeping.it was total bliss but it only lasted about ten minutes. it was am amazing feeling just to block everything out. i think im getting closer to complete stillness. i have a problem with over-analyzing i can never just be. i feel like im not living because im thinking about living. i dont think anyone other than myself gets that but thats how i am and i need to stop. haha yes i need to stop

I find my stillness early in the morning. when i wake naturally (no alarm). I feel content. my mind moves slowly. my heart beats slowly. Nothing hurts, I have no pain. I am just still.

Be still and know God