be a better family member

- I saw my mum’s cousin stood at the bustop this morning as i was passing in the car. I could tell it was going to start raining. She passed by so I got out of the car and cased her down the street. She was going to the cemetary. So I gave her a lift and went to visit J’s grave with her. We talked and she cried and I hugged her. She is his mother. She thanked me for the new vase and flowers I bought and left on his grave. It wasn’t a problem for me.
- I went to visit my uncle as I normally do weekly. I’m fixing his dodgy phone line connection.
- I comforted my mum when my younger brother acted like a complete arse and went out partying witout telling us where he went.
- Speaking to my eldest brother on the phone, wishing him a very happy birthday.

Not a bad family orientated day.

Blood is thicker than water.

My family, well, I love them and couldn’t wish for nicer people to have raised me, taught me, mentored me, fought with me, argued with me, loved me, hit me, cuddled me, whispered secrets to me or shouted at me whilst smacking my arse (as a kid – not now, that would be a but wierd and wrong!)

I decided I wanted to be a better son, but like Penelope Doll’s entry says, I realised I could be a better brother, nephew, uncle and cousin.

I hardly ever see my brother who lives in London and I am missing out on seeing my niece growing up. She is very young and probably doesn’t know who I am. I dislike the fact his wife dragged him down there to live, and her family are more familiar to my niece than we are. I know this hurts my mum and dad aswell.
But we spoke yesterday on the phone and he invited me down soon. I should make an effort and go see them.

My mum and dad, well, I don’t know where they get the patience with us! My mum is good at talking but my dad, not so good. we don’t really do much together. I wish we did more! I’m going to try.
People say I am like my mum, whilst my brothers are on my dad’s side. I want to be best mates with my mum, but some weeks we are, then fall out, and then don’t speak. That’s the subborness she gave me I guess!

The rest of family, well, my other brother, me and him are sound, but the others (cousins/aunts/uncles)
they pretty much all live in Ireland so I can only see them on holidays or family events.
But I can call and text and email more!

All in all, I’m going to try to be better!

Today:
I went to visit the grave of my cousin who sadly passed away in April. He was 37. He was an inspiration, not only to me, but to everyone who met him.
I text a cousin in Nottingham to se how he was.
I spent the evening at my uncle’s who lives alone. We enjoy each others company and he is perhaps one of the funniest men I know.

i have been calling my grandma more.
&and i hung out with my dad for like three days in a row,
which is definately not normal.
and i even called my mom and told her i forgave her.
(i havent talked to her in about seven months)

so definate progress.

i really spend all of my time with my friends.
&i know my family understands,
but i really should spend more time with them.
im thinking maybe cook dinner for my dad?
go to my cousins soccer games?
&make an effort to call my grandparents?

I was going to say “be a better daughter”, but then I realized that I’m not all that great of a sister either…so here I am. I’m realizing that I don’t treat my parents or my brother as well as I should, and I get the feeling that if I don’t start changing this now, they’ll never know how much they mean to me…and when I decide to have a family of my own I won’t know how to relate to them either…so I have to start now…