Be more patient with my mother

I have been improving on this for the past two years, but recently I find that I have taken a step back. I’m starting to raise my voice to her more than I used to (out of annoyance and frustration.) I need to constantly remind myself to calm down and just breathe. It’s unfair to her, who has raised me, to be treated with so little respect. I know how horrible I can be, and feel really guilty about it. That’s why I’m always going to remind myself of how much I love her, and how much she loves me.

I’ve much improved in this area, but still want to work on it

My mother lives with me and she really doesn’t have anyone else, so I have to remind myself of that, but she just doesn’t ever leave me alone at all when I’m home or she’ll call me at work and think I can just sit around and talk all day on the phone because that’s apparently what she did for her 1 year of work before she got married 100 thousand years ago and its just that its constant, constant, constant that I blow up at her or won’t listen to her at all because I can’t take it … i want quiet time for myself. The thing is she has just the opposite problem … she wants someone to talk to. The other thing is that I can’t have adult conversations with her because she still thinks I’m 10 years old. I can’t take the neediness. I just can’t. This is why I don’t have kids of my own. But I have to work on it. I have to be more patient—its not fair to her or to I.

Before I left for school, I really had become a lot more patient with my mother but I was waiting until I came back to see if I could hold on to that (if that makes any sense). So I came home this weekend for fall break and even though my mom does still grind on my nerves a little, I don’t seem to have any problem just taking a deep breath and giving her a little leeway in discussions (she needs it now especially since I haven’t been around in a while). Good for me, huh?

I think I am getting there with my mom. I think part of my problem is that i don’t always realize how old my mom is..she will be 91 this Sept. and is in amazing condition. Maybe it’s denial that she is that old and I may lose her soon…I try to keep that in mind and it helps my to calm down, realizing that I am going to feel very bad when she passes if I don’t change. And also, that I do love her.

She’s visiting for three weeks…. three..weeks….

Mom is hard of hearing, so she talks really loud. It’s something we are all used to and something I don’t really notice unless she is talking about me. And now-a-days, she always is.

She insists in re-enacting every conversation we’ve had that day to my father when he gets home from work. She, of course, makes me sound like an annoying, obnoxious nine-year old.

I just wish she would talk a little quieter when portraying me as a brat, so I wouldn’t have to think about it. (I am not a brat, for the record.)

My mother is full of useless knowledge. She exaggerates like it’s nobody’s business. And she never stops talking. She always has to have something to say. No matter what I am doing, it is never as important as whatever it is she has to tell me, even if she only has to tell me is that my grandmother called earlier to say hey.

I am very devote in my television watching. I hate missing episodes and I tape shows like crazy. My mother always needs to be talking to me during a key moment of a show. I think she has some kind of radar that when Veronica says she knows who framed Logan, my mother bursts into the room to tell me about the episode of the Amazing Race she just saw. She proceeds to outline the entire show and then describe the contestants (you know, the hippie guys) as if I had been watching this season and missed an episode by mistake, as if I had any idea who the hippie guys are.

Sometimes, it just really gets on my nerves.

My mother and I don’t fight. Not that knock-down drag-out kind my friends always tell me stories about at least.

She frustrates me, though. My mother is deaf in one ear. She wears a hearing aid. She has for my entire life, but I guess it’s just something I never got used to. I talk fast and run words together (I am from New Jersey, after all) and I usually have to repeat myself several times before my mother understands what I am trying to tell her.

Lately, I have been overly snappy with her, which I hate because I’m leaving for college in four months and we have never been like this before. I want to be patient with her.

I need to learn to be more patient with my mom because my dad died on August 26, 2005. They were married for 2 months shy of 50 years. She is having a hard time dealing with his loss. She is very demanding and impatient.