create a beautiful home

I have always been a little bit attracted to living in a converted something. Today, I was looking at a place called the ‘Jam Factory’...in my dreams…but maybe not! I just like the idea of traditional fixtures and fittings and the history oozing out of the walls…as long as the damp isn’t too!

I need to hang my picture and paint the apartment. i am in fear that they are going to raise my rent. i am very afraid of that. i don’t know what is going to happen. i hope that i don’t get my rent raised but somehow i know that something is going to come up. we’ll see what happens. i’m lucky that i am able to pay the rent. now all i need to do is get the electric turned back on legally. i also need to paint and hang that painting of me, it’s going to make a lot of difference.

i also need to make more money so that i can afford the lifestyle i want without being in fear.

could that happen with my acting, i don’t think so anymore for some reason.

this is unbeleivable. unbelievable. this has never happened to me before. i am actually saying that i have kept up with my housework that it hasn’t fallen into a mess in 6 months. i wish i could create the same habits for my weight loss. i think i can if i use the same principles which is doing a little every day. sit ups for example on a daily basis, having water the right amount every day as well.

MY home is still relatively clean but I’ve stopped thinking about decorating.

Isnt that clean right now. I still am doing my routines but i am being taken out of it a little bit with a challenging work schedule and just having my mind be on other things. I want to really stay focused on this because this is what makes everything else go so smoothly. like my room needs to be cleaned. the desk is a mess and i havent cleaned it for some reason. I need to schedule some time to clean up my home.

you know, it all goes together somehow. I am decluttering and i am experiencing some really base emotions i believe because of it. i am getting to core beliefs and sentiments and fears. i know that when i’m done i’ll be a much lighter person and i’ll nothing to cushion or keep me from myself adn god nothing to distract like … clutter.

someone please put something up that’s happy… please

I am really angry and I feel overwhelmed. I am having a hard time with my son, who is 15 and my house is a mess. He had a friend over and they just left things messy looking. He’s sitting there doing graffitti. I am so pissed that he had someone in my house while I was gone. My bedroom door is open, they were in my room. I feel so angry and overwhelmed. I am pissed because I told him that I didn’t want him to go out all weekend and he did it anyway. His white friends’ parents don’t care where there kids are.. well, i do! It really, really, pisses me off that when he’s hanging out with them he feels it’s okay to stay out after dark! It’s not okay, I’ve told him that several times. I want him at home or being driven by a parent at all times after dark! It really makes me angry. Right now, I hate hiim!... I hate him for being dirty and inconsiderate and not doing what he’s told. I hate that! I hate him for making me come home to a home that I have to do all the work in. I hate him for having company over. It’s an invasion of my privacy. When I’m not here… he’s going to have some kid in my home! That is unacceptable. Especially since he was told to clean his room… which he really didn’t do and study… he had a friend over all day without my permission. It’s not okay…. His friend is no longer allowed over. I am also mad because the guy I like hasn’t called me. Anyway, the way this has something to do with my house is because I don’t feel like cleaning. I am so angry.

going to look up the cost of paint. i’ve decided that i am going to paint my home. it’s going to look beautiful and inspiring. i am a little concerned that my rent will go up and that i won’t be able to stay here and yet it’s painted but it cant’ go up that much and i’ll be able to afford it somehow. i still want a beautiful home, something awe inspiring. i’m afraid of painting but i’ll just go little by little, that’s all.

i also finally priced frames and found that there are some that i can get by the end of the week that are premade and beautiful that’s going to make a big difference in my home, a self-portrait done by my sister.

going to look up the cost of paint. i’ve decided that i am going to paint my home. it’s going to look beautiful and inspiring. i am a little concerned that my rent will go up and that i won’t be able to stay here and yet it’s painted but it cant’ go up that much and i’ll be able to afford it somehow. i still want a beautiful home, something awe inspiring. i’m afraid of painting but i’ll just go little by little, that’s all.

One of my goals is to keep my home clean and on routine for 6 months just because I don’t want to backslide. So far, I am still very much on track. I love my routine! I am going to try a new afternoon routine. My routine means so much for me. The thing is that now that my apartment is really clean I feel that it needs to be cleaner somehow, like there is more that I can do. I am decluttering every day for 15 minutes and that feels really, really great. I love my home. It’s so beautiful now, I feel like a wonderful parent. I have made so many amazing changes in my life due to flylady.net. What an amazing blessing. thank god that the whole thing is free. it’s unbelievable. i mean for me to be so clean? it’s unbelievable and it’s so easy, so easy. it’s unbelievable. I want to get up earlier though. that’s the only thing i’d like to change is getting up early enough to finish my whole routine before 9 am I”ve done this a couple of times and it feels absolutely great. i feel really blessed. things are coming in to my life that i didn’t have time for before because i lived under the stress of not getting things done.

I also now get flowers from the managers sale every few days just to keep the place amazing looking. i still need things like my picture framed, nice dining room chairs for the living room maybe with my new check from csi ny. i booked that thing because my house was clean! hell yeah!