meditate daily for 30 days

I have really wanted to take the time to just relax over the past couple of months. I even got some guided meditations but never actually sat down to do any.

I FINALLY got to it after setting a start date with a friend and have been doing it daily for the past couple of days.

I now want to extend this to 30 days of daily meditation to get myself in the flow and then set it up so I feel confident to take the time out as a habit and do it several times a week, if not continue with the daily practice.

I was putting it in the give up pile but somehow I can’t bring myself to do so. Why? I clearly am not trying to do this or shurely I would have meditated more than 1 in the last 3 weeks.

I can’t seem to get more than 3 days in a row. How is this possible?—I am only trying to meditate for 5 minutes a day. I refuse to believe I can’t isolate 5 minutes for this. I must say this is probably the goal which is moving along at the slowest pace.

I don’t ever try to do this actually—it just seems like a good idea… but it never feels urgent. SO I am considering taking it off my list. SO if I cant bring myself to d it for 3 days this week then its coming off the list. Otherwise its kind of absurd for it to be here.

So its not daily but its happening occasionally. Do I feel better? Not really but I have ben going through some horrendously difficult changes in my life—perhaps without the sporadic meditation I would feel really lost… (perhaps perhaps not)
Anyway, I still think that doing this everyday may (I say may as I am not one of those new agey people who gets really into things right away. I am more of a scientific method sort of circling slowly into beleif. Or rather going from skepticism to doubt to interest to experimentation.
What I do know is that it really cannot hurt, so again yesterday I meditated and I will today.

But today can certainly be day 1 just 29 to go.
This is probably my most important “thing”
If those into meditation are correct it will help my psyche enormously and potentially make several other things eaiser.
If it does not work well 30 days should let me know; after all that should be enough to feel some change right?

I want to see if it makes a difference