Tell some secrets. Of course, then they won't be "secrets" any more...but let's not over-think this, eh?

I feel really refreshed. The biggest secret I had, I didn’t even tell first. It got told by the other person involved, but now that it’s out and I can freely talk about it … I feel much better. And I’ve told it to people since. It’s a big weight off my shoulders. :)

I don’t really have any amusing secrets. I’m pretty wide open. The ones I do have are dark and creepy and really kept secret. lol. Oh well.

and then I’m moving on to other goals. Also in the relationship vein…an oldie but goodie dusted off from my days of not-so-wedded bliss. I posted this in my journal following my wasband’s declaration that he’d never lied to me. (Yeah, right.) Somehow writing these things down made them even more fun.

I spent $50 of the gift certificates we got for our wedding on a suit.

I sneak wheat germ in the lasagna. And anything else that calls for bread crumbs or a crunchy topping. Even his chicken, which I don’t eat.

Those times when I “accidentally” end up smoking his cigarettes aren’t always accidents.

I’ve also taken cigarettes from his pack when I’m running low and he’s not.

I sometimes put on one of his t-shirts over my own clothes while I cook, so the splatters don’t ruin my outfit; I’ve put these same shirts back in the armoire after I’m done.

I’ve thrown out old issues of Rolling Stone and Maxim without telling him.

I do stack his CDs/games/movies/magazines and sundry reading materials in a big jumbled pile to piss him off. I’m hoping it will inspire him to do something about the pile…other than redistributing it, piece by piece, all over my clean floor.

While I started working these unholy hours to make him happy, I continue because I need some time to myself once in a while.

When I set the table, if any of the dishes have little bits of food stuck to them, I give them to him. I do this because he’s the one who doesn’t rinse the dishes properly before loading the dishwasher.

I do not have a “little crush” on Hugh Jackman. I have a massive, raging crush on Hugh Jackman. And it’s not just because of the accent.

when I hate being in a relationship. Having to consider the other person in decisions. Thinking about someone when I’m not sure they’re thinking of me. The back-and-forth of making something work between two people.

And then there’s the whole “dating” aspect of it. I’m contemplating major changes in my life. Do I include him in those decisions or not? Dating, after all, is not ‘til death do us part. Does he want to be included, or would that just freak him out?

Life is much simpler when you’re single…

...so I not longer feel compelled to have an actual goal dedicated to it.

If you want to hear more secrets, you’re just gonna have to hunt around. Like the time I told Unc I stabbed my dad in the head with a fork, for example. That’s one secret that probably shouldn’t have been told. ROFL! I’m sure peeps think I’m crazy enough without spilling the beans on ALL the weird stuff I’ve ever done.

Plus, there’s probably enough info on here to have me committed. Don’t want to have all this info sitting in one place, easily gathered, when the men in the white coats come to get me.

Make them HUNT FOR IT, I say, before they can carry ME away!
^{No, I’m not implying that I’m Einstein BTW, quite the opposite.}

...but I never could come up with any secrets to tell. Well, not any that aren’t sexual, and even those aren’t so secret. The curse of being pretty honest with the world about who I am. Or something.

Let’s see… I should be able to find one secret… hm…

So…uh, here’s one: I think I might be in love.

Yes, this is a secret.

Well, I’m pretty sure he knows about it, but nobody else does. I’m still kind of in denial.

At least, I can’t think of any more…

on Craigs List

Tell me how it strikes you?

The human body has about 650 muscles. Muscles are capable of contracting and stretching. This simple capability is essential for us to be able to almost everything – breathe, talk, eat, move, make love.

The human body has three types of muscle:

Smooth muscle: These are found in the hollow organs of your body such as the bladder or gastrointestinal tract. They are called “involuntary muscle” because you don’t need to consciously direct them to do their function. Barring a few exceptions like the incontinent, we take smooth muscle for granted because they go about their business without any directions from the brain, doing duties like pushing food down the intestines.

Cardiac muscle: Your heart or ticker is made up of this stuff. Like smooth muscle it is also involuntary. However it is very special compared to all other types of muscles because other muscles need rest after a bout of contracting and stretching (which, if you paid attention in para one, is what muscles do). Cardiac muscle does not get tired. This is a good thing, because if it did pause for rest you could almost certainly die.

Skeletal muscle: This is what you normally think of when you hear the word muscle. They are attached to your bones (hence skeletal) and are referred to as voluntary muscle because they are subject to control of the mind. You use them for all conscious movement liker hauling your backside out of the couch or lifting the slice of pizza to your mouth. They are also largely responsible for what is commonly referred to as sexiness of the body.

Before we get to how and why muscles contribute to your sex appeal, we are going to talk about strength.

If you are saying to yourself – these are not secrets, these are just boring facts – please read on.

The strength of a muscle is its contractibility. When you attempt to unscrew the lid on a new jar of orange marmalade or pick up a loaded shopping bag, the muscles in your arm contract. Weight-training or resistance-training is exercise that mimics everyday lifting actions on the skeletal muscles of various parts of your body. The muscle contracts on the lifting motion (concentric action of the exercise) and releases contraction on the lowering motion (eccentric action of the exercise). This is practice for your muscles to get strong.

The endurance of a muscle is the duration it can keep going before it has to rest. Your endurance plus strength determine how many reps of a weight lifting exercise you can do. Muscle endurance is called upon when you run on the treadmill or walk in the mall. If you exercise regularly you will notice the endurance of your muscles improving.

The flexibility of your muscles is what separates you from a gymnast of ballet dancer (unless you are a gymnast or ballet dancer, in which case it separates you from an aspiring yogini). Your suppleness and your range of motion when you try to do things like touch your toes, is due to your flexibility or lack thereof. Stretching exercises maintain or improve flexibility.

Don’t roll your eyes in a “when will she get to the darned secret” way. I have tried to make this interesting.

The equation:
Sexy-looking-bodies = Bodies containing muscles that are strong + enduring + flexible

A common term we use when we refer to such a body is toned. If you want to be accurate, you should reconsider saying “I have lost muscle tone” because what you are really saying is that you have developed a disorder of the central nervous system. Muscle tone is the natural resistance of muscle. Almost everyone has “normal” muscle tone. It is what keeps you sitting upright rather than collapsing into a heap. It keeps your head upright rather than flopping down to your shoulder. Tone is responsible for the reflex action of your muscles to contract when someone drags you by the arm so that you are not pulled along the floor like a rag-doll. It is one aspect of skeletal muscle that is not voluntary. Muscle tone is a neurological function and the medical community is divided on whether and if so to what extent, improvement to muscle tone can be brought about from exercise.

Bet you did not know that! If you did, you are a geek. Ask any three fun people what muscle tone is and you will agree that my tone revelation counts as a secret.

If you (like me) aspire for a body that is taut (even if not in the enormous way of a body builder’s), what you are looking for is not toning. It is to change your body composition so that body fat is reduced and muscle is increased

Aerobic exercise will help burn the fat. However it is not enough, especially as you and I age. Why?

a. The metabolism or the rate at which the body uses calories is based on its muscle mass. The less muscle it has, the more efficient a body will be at storing calories as fat deposits.
b. As we age, and especially after age 30, we naturally lose muscle (Atrophy or the reduction in the diameter of the muscle fibers occurs. Also muscle cells themselves are lost over time. So we have less muscle fibers overall and those that exist are getting punier). Even if we continue to eat the same amount each day, the body will be burning calories at a slower pace and therefore adding to the fat stores.
c. To look and feel firm the body needs both, low fat % + adequate muscle %. The wrong combination makes for a jiggly body.
d. Going on a crash-diet that severely restricts calories or eliminates certain food groups entirely is bad idea. It makes the body lose both fat and muscle. Eating nutritious and adequate food is essential to maintain muscle. Most people resume eating “normally” after some time on a “diet”. When they do, all they have achieved is a reduced metabolism from the loss of muscle during the “diet”. Their bodies will therefore be better than before at storing fat from the resumption of the earlier eating style.

Here is the bummer. While aging causes muscle cells to die, lifting weights cannot increase muscle cells. It can only make the existing cells larger. The number of muscle fibers we have is genetically determined (and then aging depletes them!). Resistance training causes muscle fibers to increase in diameter (hypertrophy). Even when they reach their full potential on diameter, continuing resistance training is necessary to maintain them. Stopping will cause atrophy (the darn fibers will lose diameter again). Opinion is divided on whether it is possible to increase the number of muscle fibers (hyperplasia). Some believe hypertrophy is the only possibility. Even those who believe resistance training can cause the growth of new muscle fibers think that it is only possible if the rigor of training were to be on par with that of professional body builders (i.e. It is very unlikely that people who have lives outside the gym can manage an increase in number of muscle fibers even with an advanced training routine).

Women are highly unlikely to get big and bulky, even if they weight train with heavy weights. Their genetic (limited number of muscle fibers) and hormonal makeup is not conducive to bulking.

Conclusion:
a. Even girls (especially if you like me are wondering if it is past the expiry date on referring to yourself as one) need to weight train. Cardio is not enough.
b. “Diets” that entail under-eating are a silly idea.
c. Uncle never said this had to be interesting.
d. I like having this goal on my list although I am too inhibited to post my secrets on the Internet.