Learn to take life one day at a time

i feel like i am always thinking about the past, like how great it was or how i could of changed something, or im constantly thinking about the future, and i know that i really need to just focus on today.

I don’t know if I have the patience to take life one day at a time.

I’m constantly coming up with routines to ‘get into’, plans to follow, lists of tasks to do, new habits to start. And none of it ever gets followed through. Pretty much anything that starts with “For one week I will…” or “Just one hour of the day I can…” goes in the trash. I’m a bit scattered and free-spirited. I enjoy the spontaneity of life so much that that gift undermines my stability.

When I was in college, as a music major we were told to practice our instrument one or two hours a day. I couldn’t do that.

When I was in grade school, several classes required that we keep a daily journal. I failed every notebook turn-in because I just couldn’t break myself into a routine of keeping up with the journal.

I’ve started six blogs, and don’t have any real roots in any of them anymore. The reason for all this is that I love starting things. I love the energy you get from beginning a new project. The moment of inspiration, all the wonderful possibilities and ideas for great things, and the first few steps of action towards realizing those possibilities. But I don’t see life as one day at a time. I experience it more like one long neverending stream. So there’s not really a concept of the daily grind. It’s more like a constant stream that is always demanding purpose, justification, or reason for every bend and turn in the road.

That’s why I give in to distractions, and that’s why I don’t think I have patience to live life one day at a time.

But I will not give up trying!

I read all these articles, other posts from you guys, and I’m just awestruck by how simple it seems to be for everyone. Absolutely dumbfounded.

but sometimes it’s really difficult for me. I have anxiety disorder with chronic fatigue, but I’m trying to work on my meditation (darn that chatty mind of mine!) skills, and it’s a work in progress. I think it might always be.

Its not easy to bring past regrets or future concerns into the present. I guess i learnt how to wake up every morning, with a new perspective. Firstly, i pray for all the events of the day, and for the day befores troubles not to hinder me from looking at the day in a positive light. I learnt a few things from doing this. 1. You learn to prioritize whats important and what’s not for the day. 2. I found that i was more focused on doing a few simple things rather than doing a million things at the same time. 3. Worried a lot less, as a lot of what we worry about is useless and only stops us from achieving what we should through out the day. 4. I learnt how to make the most of the day. 5. Relationships with others was a lot better. So there are many benefits. If you need help with this goal, the food buffet theory helps!!!!!!

Today, i came up with a theory to encourage me to take one day at a time. Each day when i wake up, i would think of myself in a food buffet whereby you get one plate, and you can fill it up with whateva food you like as long as you have space left on your plate. Each piece of food represents, every decision, worry and other things to do and think about during the day. The thing is you only get one plate, which represents your day. There are some things to keep in mind.

1. You can choose what to eat on your plate – eg if you come across something you know is bad for you and would only make you feel worse ( a grudge against someone), then you can choose to put that on your plate, or rather put something else more nutritious on your plate.

2. Sometimes your food may get spoilt by something eg ants, or you find ingredients unexpectedly in your salad that you hate. (a crisis during the day), you can chuck the whole plate out and eat nothing (ruin your whole day), only chuck the spoilt food away and replace it with nice food (not let the bad things ruin your day)

3. You don’t have to decide everything you want to eat in the beginning, you could go back to the food buffet during the day. Eg in the morning you might feel like cereal, but by lunch may a pasta. (i.e we don’t know all the decisions we are going to have to make during the day)

4. Sometimes you can turn something bad into good. Eg i hate spinach, i can choose to chuck it out or mix it with some other vegetables and dressing and it will become something yummy. eg, if you are feeling lonely, you can choose to ignore it, or you could deal with it – ring up a friend/ talk to parents/ etc.

5. THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT: You can’t have left overs from the day before, or leave some food aside for the next day. This is because food left overs are disgusting, and you’ll have a whole new food buffet tommorow so no point in leavng anything aside. Therefore you can only worry/think about the decisions you need to make today, as tommorow there will be a whole new set of decisions etc.

Ive decided to treat each day, with a positive attitude. Like these kids i need to learn how to pace my self, before running up a massive hill. I want to learn how to take one step at a time, without trying to get ahead which will only cause me to stumble and fall.

“Therefore do not worry about tommorw for tommorrow will worry about its own things, sufficient is todays troubles” Matthew 6:33-34

ACTION: Today is another stepping stone, and i have decided to enjoy every moment of it.

i feel pretty good today. i woke up to the alarm – felt a little pang of not wanting to get up. but, it passed.

part of the reason for this goal is because i’ve had a low-grade depression for years that i really want to turn around.

its mostly characterized by not really wanting to do things. that’s the only way i can explain it. it’s kind of a sleepiness, kind of apathy at life.

i think that supplements like sam-e, positive thinking, eating healthy and getting in exercise helps a lot.

i’ve taken all sorts of medications. they do keep me from feeling down and overwhelmed by life. but, all have side effects that i don’t like (inability to focus, sexual problems, weight gain), and seem to only mask the depression. it’s a fine line, but i’ve never really felt engaged in life or really less apathetic when on them. i just am happier. happy apatheic and not caring that i’m disengaged. i’m not sure if that’s really where i want to be.
i could choose to be a fat apathetic person who doesn’t care about not being engaged in life. or, hopefully with minimum struggle, i can re-structure some of my behaviors and brain patterns and gently grow out of my depression. that’s what i’m going to try, for now.

for today – i took my sam-e, ate a small and yummy breakfast, worked out a half hour and had a healthy lunch. and, i feel good! the healthy life doesn’t suck as much as i feared it might.