lose my fear of making an ass of myself

to say what i mean
to say what i think
to encourage others when they deserve encouragement
to ask questions

head out the door to see a gig by myself. it’s been so long since i’ve done this – like 12 years – and i’m totally procrastinating getting out the door. it’s howling-freezing outside. another thing that’s keeping me in my warm house.

i sent this picture round to folks… it was just the first time i’d seen a good pic of me in so long. and it felt so good to look/feel happy after such a bad bout of poopiness. who sends pics of themselves? how ridiuclous is that? but i did it.

maybe it relates to this goal. maybe not.

at least i tried to make it relevant by saying ‘thanks for the prayers… i’m okay now – feeling better’ what a laugh

but frequently people don’t follow my train of thought, or the compliment somehow comes out as something most folks wouldn’t say… (why not?) it’s naive or childish, or obvious or something too truthful somehow… sometimes this makes people uncomfortable, but… i say, the truth is always good. Praise the Truth!

So, here’s my props to friends who are enjoying a wee bit of success through the Mass Effect video game: Faunts http://www.myspace.com/faunts

It’s really hard to look at pictures of myself since I’m 50lbs heavier than I was in high school… it all seems to get stored in my cheeks too so I end up looking like a watermelon in photographs… It’s so weird, cuz sometimes I don’t even recognize the person in the mirror.

in a day-long workshop… and they were good ones too!

I am a great believer in speaking your mind and sharing what’s on your heart with folks, but… there are definitely times when I wish I would have just shut up. Like business meetings… not always the most posh person… and stuttering my thoughts out does not always the best impression make.

However, socially mingling, if in a good mood, I can bring up some smiles, and if folks don’t laugh at my BIG laugh, then blah, screw them, they probably don’t like hockey either.

I’m always a little afraid of trying new things if there’s a chance of making a fool of myself. But when I don’t try new things or allow myself to make mistakes, I don’t learn or get to experience the more exciting things in life. I want to let myself make mistakes and make an ass of myself when there’s a chance I can be a better person from the experience.