Help him understand

We will both struggle with this for a long time, I think. But from our chat yesterday, we both seem to be at the same place. It is hard. But what can you do, when you heart just doesnt want to work with you?

I just need time. I want to make the right decision.

It is overwhelming when someone loves you that much. I didnt know whether I was trying because he loved me so much, or because I loved him. He kept giving me so much, I never felt I was given a chance to respond in kind. He loved me whether I gave or not. I admire that, but at the same time, I want an environment where I can build love through me giving too. It seems like the house had already been built, and me giving the house the bricks I held seemed pointless.

Its selfish of me to continue the relationship, taking but not giving anything in return. I need to know that I am with him because I want to be, not just because he will always be there, will always be perfect.

I want to get to a place where I want to give in return. I cant do that while the love is coming at me so strong. Too much pressure, too much attention, too full on.

I want us both to be back at the beginning. Building a love together…not having a house that’s already built, which I havent had a hand in creating.

I miss your constant affection
I miss your continual devotion
I miss how easily you make me laugh
I miss how simple you make life be

I’m sorry I couldn’t make it work
I’m sorry I didn’t even try
I’m sorry for taking you for granted
I’m sorry I need this now

I’m not sorry that I met you
I’m not sorry we had great times
I’m not sorry that I loved you
I’m not sorry your always on my mind

But what we had has come to close
I wonder why we tried
When we have both become new people
Finally reaching peace inside

I dont want back what we had
It was hurtful and somewhat strange
I want a new beginning
To find you, new again