overcome self mutilation

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but worth it!

It’s not easy to do, because first you have to break your mind out of the chemical cycle it’s in; self mutilation releases endorphines that are far more addictive than morphine. But with courage you can do it. Friends help, but be careful not to fall into the trap of leaning on them too much; this will cause them to pull away from frustration right when you need them the most.

I lost my two best friends at the end of my struggle, but it forced me to rely on my own inner strength. I used to hear all the time, “You’re strong enough to do this,” and I would reply, “I know I’m strong enough to do it on my own; I just wish I didn’t have to.”

It turns out that being forced to see how strong I could be on my own was the key. I learned to like my body, flaws, scars, and all. I learned to move onward and teach my body. I learned to make it work for me as an ever strengthening tool instead of as the outlet for my emotions. It took me 4 years, and there was a year in between where I was okay and then I relapsed; it happens. Don’t beat yourself up. If you want to do it for yourself, if you’re willing to face your demons, grab life by the balls, and yell at it, “You have no power over me,” you’ll win.

when ever anything bad happens i just dont know how to deal with it and i end up cutting myself because its likes a outlet…ive seen people (like professional psychologists ect) and i just end up right where i started…its so hard to stop and i dont know what to do!!!

Maybe meds will help.

I started when I was about 14, and now I’m 19.

My arms are a maze of scars. I’d really like to stop, but it seems so impossible.

Here goes nothing…

Days since last slash: 2

This is one of those private things that most would wonder why I share. Because the empowerment of the pain created more pain. Also, my nerves began to twitch as I cut myself repeatedly. There is so much about self-mutilating that one cannot control. If one thinks about that a little bit, the statement is clear. I used rubber bands on my wrist to flick myself, and held ice against my skin till it was numb(both by suggestion from therapist) to overcome the desires. It is not easy, and not simple, but it is liberating to not need this weak ritual.I understand all of the reasons mutilators have for doing it, but I believe that the strongest people are those who do not believe that it is good for themselves, and who can resist the need to cut and burn themselves. It improves the rest of life so much when one doesn’t have to worry about hiding or explaining injuries, when one doesn’t have to spend the important time alone self-injuring, and when one doesn’t have to regret it. So please try to stop it. It is docile and unoriginal. It is too absorbing to be any less of a valid addiction than morphine. Therefore, it is a disease in its own right, that thankfully, can be cured, and the likelihood of recovery is much higher than the things people cannot control.

i am notorious for being addicted to annhialation of self. my rationale is maybe im doing penance for my myriad sins. hell, worse things have been done in the name of god, right? i dont know what im talking about. some cuts cant heal. some cuts you cant wrap a bandaid or tissue around until it bleeds out and mommy cant kiss and make better. my flesh is my billboard to the world. so everyone knows im a walking suicide. now how many people can say that?