nurture my friendships

Yesterday, I took a friend out to eat for her birthday.

Yesterday, I called a friend and told her that I see her as having a big impact at her workplace to make a difference in the life of others.

I am going to mark this done for now. It’s been a pretty good year for friends on the whole – one or two new friends who deserve specific note! One or two negative “friendships” seem to have come to an end, which was hard at the time but feels healthier now. I have revived several old friendships through facebook and just by accepting invitiations more often. And I try to make sure I see the ones I can see regularly, taking up offers whenever I can and making my own if I feel too much time has lapsed. I seem to have a lot more time these days to do fun stuff as well! And I’m not drastically behind on my e-mails.

So I am going to mark this done for now in the sense that I seem to have a system that works. if the system breaks down or gets holes in it I will come back to this, because it’s important to undertake friendships consciously and not just let them drift.

Today saw the successful completion of the R.A.C.L.E.T.T.E. mission (I was going to take a picture of the gooey cheese but I was too engrossed! – have a gargoyle intead) and also the purchase of many yummy things including cider and truffles and olives and how many different types of cheese? There was even stationery shopping (woohoo!) and a couple of stops for chats and beverages along the way. It’s difficult to overstate how much I enjoy these times.

I also forgot to post about last week – on Sunday after the big concert I went out for Tapas with my Japanese friend K and her friend, and R – quite random and the first time we’d all met each other, but we had a very chilled time with a couple of jugs of sangria and all the girls seemed to enjoy themselves.

The Friday before that I met L (a uni friend) for the first time since uni – almost five years ago – and we had a really fantastic time talking, it was very very good to catch up with her again now that we’re both in London – more of that to come I hope. I’d also had dinner with K (again) earlier that week so I think I’ve been quite a social bunny recently, and the friendships I’m tending to at least seem to be responding!

Spent the afternoon with R on what ended up being a very long detour/adventure up hill and down dale (and getting lost and wandering onto a golf course!) – I had never realised that the wild was so close to where I lived! And it was great exercise too!!

rocked!! I really loved it!! And even the much more barly experienced Dr. S. seemed moderately impressed. It even scored an average 8.166 recurring points out of 10 on the combined Leopard-Moose Bar-Rating Scale! The decor was, admittedly, shameless; but there was a robust cocktail menu, low-key not-obviously-90s music, and excellent potato wedges, not to mention that it was HAPPY HOUR (2 cocktails for 7.50) until 9pm – and the place was nicely crowded by the time we left.

By far the best attribute was clearly the company, I came away feeling satisfied that we’d set the world to rights, and I feel invigorated _hic and ready to plan for the next stage, now that I also have the book!

Will post more pictures in the comments…

I’m getting into the habit of spending time with my friends regularly and calling them to ask what’s going on in their lives if for any reason I don’t have the time to see with them at the moment.

This year I’m determined to get into better birthday habits – I am always buying/sending stuff at the last minute or just plain late. Or not at all.

Part 1 is to get a list of all family birthdays from my mum, which I have done, and is on my corkboard. I sent my cousin a birthday card from me for the first time ever last week! She will probably think I’m stalking her, but hey.

Part 2 is making birthday cakes for people at work, I have managed this for everyone so far – and it’s a great way to get the office together at lunchtime!

Part 3, which I’m still deliberating, is having a Presents Fund, so that I can buy appropriate presents for people when I see them, rather than hunting around for something suitable at the last minute. This will be especially useful for Christmas. I toyed with doing this last year but didn’t, really; but I think it would be nice to budget for this, and would make me both more generous and more organised.

from remembering people’s birthdays (which I’m notoriously bad at) to being more spontaneous, to accepting and giving more invitations, to being more present when I’m with people, to nurturing new friendships… everything social and inter-personal. I tend to think this will just happen as it goes along but there are some things I’d like to work on more attentively.

I will make a list of people I want to stay in contact with, and every saturday or sunday sit down and just call them, that’s it.Also make sure we spend some quality time together regularly ,also that we share mutual understanding.It’s not so difficult,I don’t know why I just put it off.Maybe,I’m still a bit nervous about socialising.However,I know friendships need sustaining and care,and the fruits I’ll bear’ll be far greater than my fears-wonderful,joyful moments,shared with friends-it’s definetely worth it;).
I’ll take care to advance with this goal,and with”be more social” as well.I want this year to be the happiest ever in my life so far.