Forgive my parents for their mistakes

Always worth doing!! It releases a huge load of off your shoulders.

Sweetie,

First of all let me tell you I love you very much .. more than you’ll ever know.
I know plans change. I understand all that. I guess I was just upset cause I was so excited to see you , and you seemed to not even care if you saw me. Do you even know how much I miss you everyday ? I understand you have your own life on the mountain and I am every proud of you for that. You haven’t had the easiest life. And of course kids don’t come with instructions . so I know I’m not the mother of the year.

I guess what I want to say is.. I love you and am proud of you. I miss you every day.

luy ya
mom

ps I do hope to see you soon.

I got an email from m mother today
she’s confused and upset tat i didn;t get to stay longer when I
last visited durring the first week in January.
Originally I had planned to stay the whole month, because I was supposed to be off work the whole time.

She was very unpset

I had a nightmare about it

I hope things get better

could use a hug!

It is easy for me to forgive when I can understand, but when I cannot wrap my mind around someone’s actions, when I cannot reason my way through their behavior, I find I am stuck. I thought I forgave them along time ago. Or rather I accepted their abuse and blamed myself for their mistakes. But what I realize now is that I have only been excusing their behavior, that is I bit my lip and directed my anger inward; I never forgave I just redirected my pain. I see now that forgiving them has been more about accepting myself as I am, innocent in all of this.

I don’t want to be the victim anymore. I want to get over all of it.

this is the hardest thing to do. it’s so hard to hate the person you love.

I’m currently in therapy working on this. Had a breakthru with my dad two wks ago – he cried. So did I but seeing him break down was a lil scary. There are too many issues. Stuff is slowly making progress tho – even if he doesn’t grow I know I will – and getting over all that shit is only going to make my life better.