have a great birthday

My past birthdays have been completely and utterly lackluster. I have a few more months to go before my next birthday comes arounnd. So let’s hope that my special day this time won’t leave me feeling depressed and empty.

The morning started out fine until my dad tells me one of my ducks are sick.we put her in a separate plastic box away from my other two ducks.they all play in my ba ckyard. her brother and the other I like to call her step brother.since he’s a goose but grew up together.anyways before I sound even more weird.I come home to find her dead:’( talk about hard crying on my bday..the duck will be sleeping with the goose for now on.he hasent slept alone ever…the upside before I came home I went out to eat with my family and my itouch….(sigh)

My Birthday is coming up; March 8th. I’m so excited, I can’t wait =] Everyone else’s birthday has already came and pass and it’s only March now!
My Bestfriend that I haven’t seen in two months is hopefully coming over this weekend. She was going to buy me a gift and I insisted she didn’t but she is now planning to make me a cake instead because she couldn’t find anything she would think i would like. I think it’s really sweet but i still feel a little bad =\. She told me to tell her what kind of cake i want. After a while of me failing to insist her to not make me anything I told her i want a red velvet cake. I’ve always wanted one and i figured she isn’t giving up, i might as well get the kind i want =]. She’s the greatest friend I could ask for.

fun. the best i’ve had in a while.

so far so good.

i managed not to flip out about preparation. i was kind of concerned and actually depressed about the party tonight but i decided to just have fun and work with whatever happens. i feel a lot better having just put my foot down instead of wallowing in doubt.

A grumpy husband, my husband’s friends and a misunderstanding in my family made this day a bit of a nightmare once again. I couldn’t even enjoy it just by myself with my daughter, since she had to go to the day-care (my husband insisted). And when she was home she picked some flowers of my garden (the first ones) to give to my mother-in-law… Well, it was a perfect friday 13th…

this seems like a veru selfish goal to put on my list. But the last few years I always wished my birthdays wouldn’t exist and I always wanted to erase them from the calendar. My husband always started a fight on this day, and I have no idea why. He didn’t like the idea that he has to buy me something or spend time for me, maybe to spoil me. He always tells me that I have my own salary and can buy what I want at any time myself. And flowers are a waste of money, because they are dead in a week anyway… But those fights were the worst part. Mostly they were about nothing at all. Mostly about my job and about my work being too important to me or something like that. It was ridiculous.
This year is hopefully going to be different: My birthday is on a friday and my husband has to work, my daughter will be on the day care. So I’ll have the day for myself and can just take it easy, enjoy some tea, nice music and a little treat. I also want to get myself a present, I still have to buy. Something nice, something I wouldn’t buy every day. In the evening porbably my husband’s family will come over and I’m going to prepare something nice for dinner.
In the weekend I am not going to plan a party and won’t have guests – not this year (we had so many people here to visit us when our son was born), but we will drop our daughter off on sunday afternoon at my husband’s family for a sleep-over and go out for dinner. That will be nice. I really hope that nothing, not even my husband, is going to spoil it this year.

.. and had the time of my life.

thanks to all who filled me in on the day ;-)

Well, in six days I will be 20. Sometimes I still feel like I am 16, and still testing out the world. There are a lot of people my age that already have so many huge goals in life, and know what they want their career to be, while I am just coasting along and trying everything out, seeing what sticks…I can’t wait for next week…I don’t know why though, is it because it’s my birthday or because it is the last week of classes…who knows…

have abirthday week and invite 30 friends to my birthday party