talk less, listen more

I’m really getting the hang of this “listening” gaol. Last night my husband and I shared a wonderful, insightful conversation. This most likely is one of the first times he shared so much with me during a “wine chat”.

I listened without interrupting, I remained quiet while he was in deep thought and I continued to listen through two glasses of wine. It was great, I realized I was hearing every word he was speaking without trying to bud in or think about what I wanted to say at that moment.

He talked, I listened… It was wonderful.

I really need to work on this goal with my daughter. S. and I seem to interrupt each other during important conversations. Our relationship is really stressed right now.

She needs to be heard. She needs to feel that she is being heard. I owe it to her too be heard…and respected, even it I don’t agree.

S. really is in need of me to listen to her.

My dad called me at 6:30 a.m. yesterday morning…saying he called early because he can’t seem to get me during the daytime. Busy girl I am! Mostly likely I’m on 43things and didn’t want to answer the phone. Hee hee.

We had a wonderful conversation about a situation I find myself and family in. He really spoke from his heart and was concerned about all of us. He shared a couple stories with me about his parenting style when I was young. I’m glad that I listened to him without interrupting, I would of missed the stories he shared. He gave me his wise advice and/or respective. Thanks Dad.

I’m listening more to the kids, making eye contact and stopping what I am doing while they’re talking to me, all the while, I’m not interrupting and commenting.

The goal is working, the kids are noticing and appreciating it. They are starting to feel that I really do care and hear them!

Great Goal for me!

I seem to talk and not listen, my kids will tell me. I find myself talking over people when I’m on my cell phone. Then…I seem to want to give too much advice when I think my friends just want to talk!

So…I need to stop talking so much and Listen, I might just learn something that I would have missed if I were talking.

Why is it that I find the need to interrupt when someone else is talking and just blab on endlessly about how interesting my take on the subject is?
Why?
I don’t consider myself more important that the people with whom I am engaged in conversation, but my actions say otherwise. I dislike that, because I’m sure it makes me come across as selfish, uncaring or self-centered.
I admire people that are careful with their words and rather aloof, even.
I used to be very, very shy and quiet.
I think I overcompensated big time!
It would be interesting to see if I can manage to somehow be quiet (listen more) yet remain outgoing.
Any tips?

I’ve discovered putting gum in my mouth when I feel the need to talk generally helps shut me up.

I am so aware that when I am in a group I am half listening and half wanting to give my input.. all my friends do it as well and I think we are all so used to it that when we interupt we dont realise but when I am in a different group I feel embarassed when I am aware I have spoken over someone… makes it look like what I have to say is more important and I hate that! So.. from now on I will realise why we were born with 2 ears and one mouth! x

I’ve done much better with this in the past. Now it seems I have so much to say, but people typically don’t seem to be interested because they have so much to say, too. Better off listening and keeping some of my thoughts to myself. I really just need to be more balanced in this area.

(Ha! That’s what they must all say about talking to me!! he he he!)
I just was at a Christmas party and I got caught in conversations with two people that continued on and on and on. I had to, politely, excuse myself on both occasions.

I oscillate between being a GREAT listener and being an EXASPERATING talker! I think the super-talking is also linked to feelings of being depressed or trapped at work.

ok, ok, I will keep working on it. Any ideas?