Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for me. Act for myself. Face the truth.

tomorrow hard meeting is waiting for me (at least I hope it will finally take place tomorrow, as I still did not quite fulfill my goal for more patience). I do not want to prepare for any scenarios (I know she will have her portion of planning done already), I want to risk, I want to face the truth and I definitelly want to be myself and speak up my mind in front of scary piercing eyes of the devil´s bride.

I feel I am working on this goal. When I added it to my list, I simply liked the idea, but I never added any entry because I didnt see what to risk at that moment.
However, things have changed and are changing still.
Now I have something to risk – whether I will trust my instincts and my philosophy once again and put my whole heart to it – now it seems to me more dangerous than ever before, because now I have much more to loose.
The truth is that I believe it IS worth risking – I have been acting for myself since the beginning of it all and it really seems working. It seems right. It seems that I was right to believe in it at the first place.

this is exactly how i feel!!
its the one thing in the world i would love to be able to do!
i hate my school…its all so fake, so patronising!!
all these cliques…i cant stand it!!
i just want to be me…Sarah…an individual!

not to care what others think..not to give a damn!!
to gather friends who know the real me..do what i want to do…be the person i am inside!!
its such a desire..it feels like it will never come through!

hopefully, this will change as i get older, get out there, LIVE!

oh no!
Just Katherine Mansfield wrote this in one of her journals. I put it down here so that I won’t forget again.