create, create, create

I put this goal back up when I came back to 43T after I deleted my initial account, to encourage and remind myself that I am an innately creative person. Up until the last year or so I have always been in the process of creating…..something…..I have never referred to myself as an “artist”; I have no formal artistic training and with regard to the fine arts, ie, painting, sculpting, etc, I have minimal experience and limited success. But there are many other creative ways in which I express myself, and have done them well, and successfully, success being defined in two ways: I like the end product, and others like and will pay for the end product!! LOL!! I am in no position to do any seasonal fairs or festivals this year, which I previously did with my hand dipped beeswax candles, ornaments and cosmetics (lip balms, body bars), assorted beadwork and handmade cards, prints and bookmarks made from my own photographic images. I still have some of those things in storage (except candles) but not enough to fill a market stall or booth. I never thought I would be here….here…as in not creating. I remember saying to people “I have so much creative energy I don’t know what to do with it!” and those same people saying I was one of the most creative people they knew, and now…..well, where has she gone, that Creatrix???? I am not creating. I recently saw an energy worker…she did a combination of Reiki, Shiatsu etc…....she said, without even asking or knowing about my innate creativity, after her hands had been on me for a while while doing her energy worker thing, she lifted them off me for a moment and asked me “What do you believe is blocking your creative energy?” We discussed this briefly, and came to some conclusions, and I realized that though, yes, there are some things blocking it, that basically what I need to do, what I MUST do is JUST DO IT. Something, anything creative. If I can’t go thru the block, maybe I have to go around it.

I am keeping this goal here, for when I get out of my own way and all that creativity is once again unleashed.

Well, I finally put in order my desk, bought that Tiffany lamp I wanted and moved out of my room everything that could make me feel constrained.

The new version of java on Vista somehow wrecked my freemind installation and now I can update my ideas mindmap.

Is amazing how little stuff like that can keep you from doing.

I missed this semester registration for the master’s degree, so I’ve to wait, would push forward every day for the next 4 months to complete at least half of my ideas cloud after that, my whole focus would be on the degree.

I need to do this before my next existential crisis hit hehehe.