Contrary to popular opinion, there are decent men in the world, although I have met very few of them. Let’s get hypothetically mathematical here. Taking a wild stab, let’s say about 10% of the males I have encountered are “decent” by my standards (noble, intelligent, compassionate, etc.). Of these men, which I am able to admire for their finer character qualities, I find myself seriously “interested” in only half of those. So, hypothetically, I’m fishing in a man pool that contains only 5% of the population. This is discouraging. This fact is made more discouraging by the fact that the majority of “decent” men have vastly different definitions of what the word “decent” means when searching for a potential partner. To put it simply: “Nice guys do not go for nice girls.” This often leads them to wonder why no one likes nice guys, a profound misconception. Nice girls like nice guys. And interestingly enough, nice guys like nice girls. Yet instead of seeing them as potential partners, decent men seem rather to develop depressingly platonic feelings for said girls instead of romantic inclinations. I cannot definitively explain this phenomenon. Perhaps it’s because these men are able to so easily identify with these women in the same plight. Perhaps it’s because abandoning the chase for the legendary “white hind” equals admitting defeat. I can’t really say.
Luckily, this inborn blind spot does not persist forever. There is hope for the nice girl and, subsequently, the nice or “decent” guy. Thus, the successful “nice girl” is she who has mastered the art of patience. The decent guy must be allowed time to understand the shortcomings of the prize he has sought for so long, and eventually, through the natural conditioning process of failed relationships, he will come to understand and prize the valuable qualities of the decent woman. Thus, the priority of the decent woman during the male’s learning period is not to rue and bemoan her plight, but rather to enhance and develop her character and be sure she truly deserves the prodigal, but repentant, decent man. This is the best way to truly, and finally, gain the attention, affection, and commitment from the good/nice/decent man she has sought for so long.
Therefore, I, too, must learn patience. This is something I will have to work hard to master. I have struggled with this for years, and I have learned a little more through each mistake. Everyone must go through a process of refinement. Eventually, once they have been weighed and measured, every jewel will find its mate.
