Get a non-soul-sucking job to help out with the rent, food, and other living expenses

Is there an “I failed” option that I can change this entry to? :P Because my job has now turned extremely soul-sucking … which I knew it might, and I failed to keep my word to myself to leave as soon as it started to get that way. Grr. But I will leave someday … I will.

...because the job itself isn’t inherently soul-sucking. It’s the fact that I have to give up so much of my living time to do it that’s wearing on me, and since at the moment this is easily paying for things that need to be paid for, it’s functioning. I am going to add a new goal, though, to get myself independent of a nine-to-five existence, so that I can live more of my life again.

I have my interim security clearance for the place that hunted me down and decided they super needed a copy editor; they want me to come in tomorrow. Now, to find out if this is soul-sucking or not…

Got three job-hunting email feelers out today—well, all right, one came to me. (That piddling little blurb about me on Creative Hotlist actually does generate pings from interested local people seeking writers and editors. It’s kind of odd. ;))

It’s kind of bizarre, but my self-esteem as far as qualifications/worthiness for jobs has definitely suffered. I’m not entirely sure from what, at the moment, but knowing me, it’s probably a combination of things. I’m having to sell myself to myself to even seriously consider applying for things, and looking at my own qualifications today was a little like looking at those of a stranger. I was a little surprised to find out that I have a somewhat valid-looking resume. ;) Assuming I ever get to the job interview point with any of these positions, I’ll definitely need to get over this feeling that I suck. After all, if I think I suck, why shouldn’t the job interviewer, blah blah blah. The answer is that the job interviewer should be good at doing that job, which is to ferret out whether I really do suck or not, and as far as writing and editing positions, my suckage class has nothing to do with my self-esteem. But I don’t really expect anybody to actually look past whether one believes in oneself to whether one should believe in oneself and hire based on that, even if that’s the most logical thing to do. ::snorts:: Oh, well. I did some hunting today. I’ll try to work on the self-esteem thing, insidiously so I don’t notice myself trying to feel better about myself and cut myself off. ;)