Well they weren’t as great as I thought they would be..I am VERY grateful that I passed though..EXTREMELY..However, I understand that in college, that isn’t the attitude I need to maintain..If anything,my attitude towards college should always be to do better, and that’s what I intend on doing next semester. I already picked out my classes, which are : Math,Communications 20,English 15,and Music 11. God willingly, I will excel in these classes..Let’s see how I do..I start classes January 30th. Until then, I have the whole month to chill out and prepare for the Spring 2012 semester.Here’s to the Spring semester ;-) 16 months ago

The semester is over! oh yes! I go back to class January 30th! THAT MEANS I HAVE MY BIRTHDAY FREE! YIPPEEE!! I’m so happy and excited.. I’ll put this goal as complete once I get my final grades to see how I did..let’s hope I did okay.. :) 17 months ago

Final grades come in on the 22nd or 23rd.
Very satisfied that my first semester (of many) is officially complete.
God bless you all. 17 months ago

Finals are done!! I hit the road yesterday around 12:30… had to stop in Rapid City to get fitted for CLASS A’S!! WOOHOO! I’m the only first year (non-enlisted) cadet to get fitted so far!! :)

I’m so excited about ROTC! I feel like although my fitness still needs a TON of work, I have been the only first year cadet to do a lot of things (like color guard!), and that makes me feel amazing.

^{and yes, I may brag a bit…hehe ;) But this is MY little space so I can do what I want :P}

I think I did fairly well in all my classes… except Biology, haaaaa. I counted up how many online quizzes I forgot to do and found a total of nine zeros. Whoops! Quiz grade was about 62% or something… Maybe that will motivate me to STAY ORGANIZED ;)

I had about 40 meals left at the end of the semester, and those didn’t carry over :(

Met friends, lost friends, got a new roommate for semester #2… yep… it’s all good.

Other than that, I’m excited to say I will FINALLY be returning to 43T on a somewhat more regular basis… for awhile there I had ELEVEN unread messages… I’m down to nine now, lol… I’ve also had my Black Friday story in the writing process… may finally get to post that, heh… WAY BEHIND, but it’s all good. I’m home, and that’s what matters ❤ 17 months ago

is everyone surviving? haha 17 months ago

twitchtwitchtwitchtwitchtwitch should…be…studying….
tomorrow terminates classes of first sem, finals next week.
i’m done a week from now. mind blown. 17 months ago

I have 3 papers to work on..here I go..and they are all due tomorrow! OH GOSH! 17 months ago

I’ve been slacking..NOT GOOD AT ALL >:( 18 months ago

I finally made this sad realization…
and really, I have no idea why it took me so long to realize this.

From now on, my life will be different. Eight months of the year will now be spent away from home. That’s 75%. 75% of my life is now…. here.

When I moved, I only took half my closet. Didn’t wanna wear out my good clothes at college. What the fuck was I thinking?! The majority of my life is now in Spearfish, South Dakota! HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS?! I seriously packed random shit into boxes during the last 24 hours of living at home. I didn’t even think anything of it. Hell, my mother wasn’t even in the state when I left for college. I didn’t even say goodbye to my dad. I just freaking LEFT.

I think part of this crappy “I’m never going to make it home” feeling is arising from the fact that I don’t get to go home over Thanksgiving break. I’m going to be here in my dorm. Whooo.

I’m feeling trapped here. I just want to go home… or go somewhere.

Fuck, I don’t even know how to say what I mean, so here’s some random inspiration:

<iframe src=”http://free.timeanddate.com/countdown/i2u8qxw6/n627/cf100/cm0/cu4/ct0/cs0/ca0/cr0/ss0/cac900/cpc000/pc9f9/tcfff/fs100/szw192/szh81/tatChristmas%20Break/tac900/tptI’ve%20been%20homeward%20bound%20for/tpc000/mac030/mpc000/iso2011-12-16T13:00:00” frameborder=”0” width=”192” height=”81”>

^{oh my godddd even my inspiration is broken.}18 months ago

Ten classes remaining in SOC, HIS, and BIO.
Even less in PSY 105 and ANT! WOOH! So exciting (: 18 months ago

So I got… a
B- in Psych
A in English
B in Communications
C+ in History
and another
A in my OCD class- which is a class that teaches basic fundamental skills on how to succeed in college :)

The work seems to be getting a little intense with a lot of research papers coming up, but it’s cool- as long as I do it ahead of time and not wait for the last minute, then I should be fine. Hopefully by the end of the semester I don’t have bad grades and I’ll have good ones :) 18 months ago

that my GPA doesn’t fall below a 2.7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It should be higher anyway! 19 months ago

So I like all of my classes, in a specific order (Communications, Psychology, History and then English) So far I’ve taken some tests and my results visibly represent my studying habits. I’ve gotten 70’s really. Which is really bad. Now that we’re in October (MIDTERMS) I need to study more and come up with better habits. God willingly I will amaze myself, I just need to step it up. Luckily, in all of my classes my teachers drop lowest test grades which is grand for me! 19 months ago

Ha, okay… “emergency” is probably an overstatement… but this sucks.

Last night, I was eating some frozen M&Ms and my false tooth just SNAPS OFF. Ahhhh! My sister and I went to Walgreens and picked up some crown cement (I know, I know… it’s not exactly the same thing… but at least it’s non-toxic!) and when that failed, we turned to super glue. By the time I was done fiddling with it, the damn thing wouldn’t even fit in my mouth (it only has to be off a half a mm for that to happen though, ha).

I got an appointment made for 9:00 tomorrow. They’re going to take a mold of my mouth, and we’ve got the insurance all worked out (supposedly). I’m not sure when my new mouthpiece will be ready, but I’ve already walked around for a full day toothless so… I’m slowly becoming used to it.

It’s just bizarre is all! and expensive!
My life is a strange series of unfortunate events… 19 months ago

OH. My. goooosh.

PEOPLE.
I was about to go KILL someone. It’s five o’clock in the morning and they’re doing staff checks down our hall. Aware that my roommate is not here, I cast off being quiet and whipped my door open in annoyance as a room next to ours refused to open up.

“Oh my God,” I whispered in my tired little voice.

A police officer, accompanied by two hall directors, stood outside a door. I rushed off to the bathroom only to be stared down while tromping back. (What can I say—I’m a loud walker when I get stressed out, okay!) A lot of, “you need to get up,” was being said, followed by a, “if they don’t get up we may have to call poisoning.”

I left my door open, expecting my roommate to come back

^{Also, I was totally eavesdropping.}

One of the directors came over and told me she was going to shut my door. I growled at her that it was fine, and I crawled onto my chair and into bed without ever looking at her.

My sleep is soooo screwed today. I had to DD my sister from 1:30-2:00, these partiers probably woke me up around 3:30, and now we’ve got police invading (that’s an overstatement) our dorm hall!

Ahhh!
As long as my roommate comes back in one sober piece tomorrow (and by tomorrow I mean today. Later. When I wake up again), I think I’ll still call it a pretty good night.

C’est la vie! College! 20 months ago

I’m sorry :(

I’m such a failure. Last night I got so messed up. I didn’t plan too, but it happened. I’ve never even been drunk before… and then this happened.

This morning has been so bad. I can’t even feel time passing. I just had a conference with my teacher. I vaguely even know what he said to me.

I don’t know how useful I’m going to be to human society today. That makes me feel kind of bad.

The writer in me came out and I started documenting it in a texts to a coworker from home (My boss’ son… imagine that). I might post that little series in comments later. It’s not an easy read.

My roommate’s friend just told me she thinks it was laced with something because there’s no way I’d still be like this if it was just weed. I kind of agree.

I’m so confused.

I’m sorry. I feel like such a bad role model. I hope no one is mad at me. 20 months ago

Welcome to week three!
This is the first time I’ve had Monday classes! Weird, I know.

Last night my roommate comes in, sits down, and says, “Here’s the deal,” and starts telling me about her friend who was denied off-campus living rights and now has to move into the dorms. A lot of crazy stuff has been going on in my dorm hall. One of the girls I’m acquainted with had her roommate move out, so I agreed to move in with her so my current roommate could live with her friend. I’m not insulted by it because our room layout sucks anyway. Plus, I know I’ve done nothing to make my roommate want to get rid of me. My new roommate and I will have better sleep schedules anyhow. And! Oh, I can’t forget! In my new room, my desk faces the window and I have a view! And we get a breeze! And we’re not right by the noisy stairwell! And (ha) and! Our window isn’t right above the entry to our dorm hall where all the downstairs girls go to smoke from 11PM til dawn.

^{Okay, I’m done listing the pluses, haha :)}

I want to share some pictures with you guys of my current dorm room since 43T is a bit of an online diary to me. However, I’m currently locked out and I haven’t showered yet from my morning run, haha. 20 months ago

Zero Week is complete! I don’t even really want to talk about it. It was a good experience… Something I learned there, thanks to other cadets was, “There is no stealing in the Army… just a redistribution of supplies” ... ha! Thanks, I guess.

I’ve slept in a cabin bunk more than I’ve slept in my dorm room, but there seems to be a very fast-paced learning curve going on here. Like realization upon realization is being made… and a good majority of them are the “obvious things” being relearned.

1. I’m an idiot
2. The food I have to eat = ramen and oatmeal
3. I have no bowls…
4. Both those foods require bowls…
5. We have cups in our community kitchen I could use instead but
6. THERE IS NO FUCKING DISHSOAP SO I WILL PISS EVERYONE OFF IF I DIRTY A CUP

AHHH. Good thing I redistributed some granola bars to myself during Zero Week. 20 months ago

It’s been twenty one hours since I’ve left home.

This morning I woke up thinking, “What am I supposed to eat?”

Yesterday was a bit of everything blended into one giant ball. Last minute errands, appointments, and packing kept me busy. Even when shoveling clothes, toiletries, and random boxed crap into the back of my tiny car, it didn’t feel… different.

The pain didn’t come until I went into work for the last time. My mood quickly changed from stoic to somber as I noticed one of my bosses watching me through an open window. I washed my hands after spilling concentrated degreaser and hid behind a wall as I blotted away the hot tears with a paper towel. I gave myself a minute to push all the emotion back down before going up front. My female boss asked me a ton of questions I don’t even remember. At that point, the words refused to come out as I fought back a quivering voice. She chased after me as I walked away and hugged me. Her support was both welcomed and saddening. It made me feel guilty for unexplainable reasons. I talked with the two of them as they worked—hopefully not as an unwelcome distraction. Letting that door close behind me was probably the hardest part of my day. 22% of my years on earth have been spent working for those two people and their boss.

As I set off alone westward for the first time, I thought, “I just let go of that monkeybar,” and the waterworks started anew as feelings of pride, fear, and sadness crumpled themselves into one unnamed feeling. The song The House That Built Me came on the station, causing even more blurred vision as I set off.
My friend works at a rest stop an hour into the trip. Her text, “Did you already go by?” reinstated a sense of direction in my life. “You have to make it to Tayla, then you have to make it to your sister. You know where you’re going.”

For some reason, after awhile it felt like I was just on a roadtrip. I started thinking, “I’ll see Tayla next week when I come back,” and, “Oooh, I’m gonna stop at this gas station to get 49c slushies again!”

...No, no I won’t. It doesn’t work like that.

Now that I’m here, it’s obstacle after obstacle. But I guess you have to do things you’re afraid of in life—otherwise, you’ll never do anything at all.

^{and now it’s been like 24 hours because this took me a few hours to write :P}21 months ago

My first day of classes is on Monday, which I’m pretty excited and nervous about at the same time. I mean I guess we’ll see what it’s like. I’m doing community college now, so hopefully when I’m done with it, I can transfer out to a better school,who knows? Let’s see what this goes like :) For now though, I want to survive it and get good grades. 21 months ago