claim bankruptcy

should come within the next couple of weeks.

That is the biggest weight off of my shoulders. I only wish I had done it three years ago.

for the papers in the mail saying I have been discharged. Within the month I believe.

was on wednesday afternoon. I didn;t get up there in front of the trustee until about an hour after my court hearing time. I also felt a lot less shame after hearing that people have done this two and three times. It was easy and short and I feel a lot better, happier as well. I now have to wait for my discharge papers and it will all be done. That should be in about 60 days. In the mean time I will begin rebuilding my credit and making sure my credit report is cleaned up. I have a good plan for making sure my bills are paid on time and at this point I am current with all my other bills.

Upward! This is one of those things that needed to be completed for 2008 to be a pivotal year.

I had to go to a class about managing debt before I can actually be discharged from my bankruptcy. I have to go to court next week so I took the class this week. It all went well, mostly information about budgeting and making sure you take care of your needs with insurance, and retirement and savings. It all makes sense. Hoping that things will soon all be just a weight off of my shouldres and I will work on re-building my credit. I am looking forward to starting over new.

stating my docket number and the exact time that I will be going to court on the 9th. That alone made me nervous. I called and made the appointment for the debt management class that I need to attend before this next court date. One thing at a time. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

sent to the courthouse, paid the lawyer and went over everything. Court date July 9th. still nervous until it is all over but somehow a feeling of it being closer to an end is good. Got nice and drunk last night, somehow this feels like a failure in my life and I have to deal with that while also accepting that somehow this is a step forward. So many mixed feelings with all of this, an end and a beginning. Time will make this feel better as well as a really making the effort to clean up my credit, that will be key to making this feel like there was deeper a purpose.

this morning. I think I got it all in. scary stufff, scary expensive stuff. there goes my economic stimulus check. I don;t think this is what they intended me to do with that money, but more stuff is not what I need, less pressure and bills and stress is what I need. this is the answer to that, it has been the answer for 5 years and I have just put it off because I didn’t have the money, now that I do. well it is time.

to get a jump on the last of the papaerwork needed to submit everything to the lawyer. I am a little disappointed that I am getting less money than I expected from the economic stimulus check. I thought I was going to get $1200 and only got $600 so now I have to come up with the rest of the money for the lawyer. But what’s more important is finishing the paperwork. I can’t find my social security card and they need a copy of that as well. I am hoping the company where I work will have a copy on file that I can copy. I have to add, take a trip to the social security office to my list of goals. I have to drop all of the paperwork off by Friday.

This is the goal that has been stressing me more than anything. It is weighing so heavy on my mind that everything else seems bigger as well, all the little stresses seem magnified because this is so big and weighing so heavy. I am anxious to be finished it all.

on Friday. he made me feel really at ease and even a little better about the whole situation. I am just going to do it. I made a bunch of spreadsheets for my girls to fill out all fo thier stuff and I will do mine this week. I shoudl be finished everything on time by friday so I can photocopy it all and send it in on Monday. I will then be set to go. I meet with the legal secretary on the following friday to confirm it all and then I await my court date. I heard from the credit counselor that in my area the court meets on the first wednesday of every month for this filing. I should have my court date June the fourth or July the second. Sixty days afterward, seeing if all things go well, I should be discharged and I will begin again. It will be like a new life for me. This has been the biggest source of tension for me in the last five years. I am embarassed by the state of my financial affairs due to a divorce. I guess I should feel lucky, some women would never leave bad husbands for the fear of the reprecussions. It is not a great feeling doing this but it is the final chapter of the disolution of the marriage in some way. It will be leaving the past behind and starting over again.

My dread is slowly turning into something a little more positive.

I am feeling so overwhelmed. There is so much to do. It is incredible. I just can’t believe it. A list of how many clothes I have, shoes, coats, books, movies, all my possessions and even all of my childrens. I can understand wanting to know of anything of value like cars and boats and stuff but really. Can I stockpile thousands of dollars in books? Or hobby stuff? Or shoes? I am just feeling overwhelmed by it all.

And time until my apppointment is slipping away.