Learn to love me

So I had a minor melt down at work, I am doing a utility job which is physical and I have a lot to do, but I am also training to run the inline saws and work in the control room. (It is a progressive job, so the control room postion will be mine when people move on) then they decided I couldn’t be in the control room only 2 people in the control room, so I can go up there on my breaks, when one of the guys goes to relieve the saw guy, and for an hour at the end of the day (when the guy that is training me is out doing another job) I kinda came unglued (also they wouldn’t let me do the over time, but if I were a guy they would have! cause they have before. I told my supervisor that I was taking it personally. I said when do I train, can I go up on my breaks “UMMMM ok” do I have to on my breaks “no” I said is it because I am female “OH no” I said so are they going to come to me in 3 months and because I don’t know everything 100% am I going to loose my job? “NO” are they trying to get me to bid off this position “no” (these positions have only been held by men in the past)I was to the point of being upset to the point of crying (which I didn’t want to do cause I work with 99% men.
I stuck up for myself, but then I felt bad about it. But after the time has gone by I am glad that I did it. I think they realize that I am not some stupid broad, and that they aren’t gonna push me around or pass me over.
So I only felt bad for a short time, after I went over and over it in my head. My supervisor actually talked to me but brought another supervisor with him, (someone I am really close with) this was good for him but even better for me. I think my new supervisor has a better understanding where I am coming from and kind of let up on the “no more than 2 in the control room” rule….YEAh
Any way I had my 3 month, 6 month and 9 month evaluation all in one day (they are kinda behind and I also switched positons 3 times in 9 months, movin on up!) My eval was good, my super said I get along well with the guys, in fact they really really like me…....!!

I do really well and then sometimes it just seems like I get stupid. Sometimes no one else knows I almost got stupid, something stops me right before I do what ever it was that would have made me look stupid.