I’m home again.
I’ve been home most all week. The kids had day camp, and in between driving them at different times for different classes, I stayed home, combing the evidence on this computer’s email files of work discrimination. It’s a miserable task, but it was made better by the support of all of you here. I have never felt so cared about as I struggled with a battle. That is the impact you have.
I actually get along with most people, believe it or not. My ex told so many stories about how awful I was, and dealing with this boss, I have almost become convinced that there is something bad about me that I don’t understand. Like psychological bad breath that I’m unaware of.
But nonetheless, there are some important friends here, important because they have access to information to tell me whether the things I’m being told by my boss are the truth. Their computer access, legitimate, told them that he was absolutely singling me out. They were really mad, like you were.
So one of them called my boss’s vendictive right-hand person, and informed him that it’s illegal to deny a person payment, especially when you are paying everyone else. It was enough. By this morning I knew I would get paid. But I wanted to deal with the larger problem, the pattern of harrassment.
Apparently, they passed the information on. One of them recommended that I talk to someone in the upper administration. Appropriate enough, but very frightening, because administrators rarely thank you for bringing them personnel problems.
But this administrator had been prepped by one of my friends. So when I got there today, and told him I had an hour appointment and would need that amount of time, he sat. I carefully dealt with the current problem, and then tied it to the pattern of larger harrassment. He sat, and that’s about the best I could expect, under the circumstances. I told him all of it, and he will never be able to say he didn’t know. I doubt he’s thought about the liability, but he is now responsible for dealing with it.
I told him last spring about another set of problems. He promised he would deal with my supervisor, and he admited today he didn’t do it. I did not let him off the hook. I asked him what data he needed to figure out that I was telling the truth. That took him aback, and he said a few of my emails from the inappropriate boss would be helpful. I offered to have him interview my colleagues and he declined. He knows it’s true; he just doesn’t want to have to deal with it.
I told him I needed to know HOW he was going to set about dealing with this. He planned a conversation with the boss. I told him there were certain things I thought were reasonable for me to expect: That my boss would never ask me to do anything illegal again. That he would acknowledge my worth, clearly. That he would process the paperwork for my payment promptly. That he would allow me the same opportunities to be a leader that my colleagues are afforded.
I told him I wanted to know when he would get back to me. He was surprised, and I reminded him that the problem before did NOT get dealt with. He agreed it was reasonable and said he would call me next week after he met with the individual. We shook hands. Mine was a rock, not a wounded one.
I will go back to work now. I will spend the time tomorrow organizing the emails from my boss that illustrate the harrassment, and send those on, with a written list of expectations. I will also begin an appeal of the ADA decision.
My children, my blessed children, have been old souls this week. I told them what was going on—I do believe these kids are too interpersonally perceptive to be lied to—and asked them what they thought. Both said it’s wrong, Mom, and you are going to change this.
Change is a dynamic process, fluid, passing from one individual to another. This fight will last for the rest of my life, in one form or another. It’s the fight anyone with a disability wages, the fight to be seen for one’s worth, and not for one’s limitations.
We are all disabled. We are all abled. And I am so grateful to you, you movers and shakers, you conduits of change—who supported me through this battle. I just experienced justice at your hands. Bless you all.
