i want to be beautiful

my whole life i have always felt that i was pretty enough and i would always think im the ugliest person in the world. i practically had low self esteem. people would always tell me i am pretty and when i like a guy but he doesn’t like me it would make me feel ugly:(

I must be so ugly. I must be an ugly person. I am a true believer in what’s yours is yours. You cannot have anything that’s not for you. The problem is when i want things that are not for me. I want them so bad that i immerse my entire being into making it happen. All the other person has to do is just day yes. But i don’t get that yes.

I try to control.
But i have no control.

I want people to just be, that’s my motto.I ‘m just me. I am me and i try really hard to not allow others to affect who i am. I care, when i care i give even more. But i still get no. NO!

WHat do i give off that makes people repulsed by my being? Am i just a temporary fix. I get boring after a while? What am i doing wrong. I don’t believe, i do not accept the logic given by others.

Life is a risk. Love is a risk. Life is a risk. What makes a person decide what risk should or should not be taken. Humans take risks when they feel like there is a pay off that is worth while, I take that risk with everyone, so i guess no one should feel special.

But i am never worth the risk. I can never create that spark. I throw gas all over myself and light a box of mathes, but in the end, the flame that’s created is made completely of me, by me.

I will never be loved…..

There was a time when this auto achieved itself, people used to stop me and tell me. Now, in addition to other negative things in my life, it has also disappeared. No-one mentions it anymore, a ‘I love you’ doesn’t seem to do it either. Because I know the reasons they love me aren’t in any way related to my appearence.

Due to this, I go out less,my confidence is still present, however,I keep out of the public eye.
What are the ways to bring back the way I felt?

I feel really disgusting most days when I wake up, and I always compare myself to other more prettier girls. My boyfriend is wonderful and does best he can, but I am afraid I’m driving him away because I get so jealous. I can’t stand him looking at other women, from strangers to celebrities, because I know they’re hotter than me. I need to stop and realise that to him, I am the most beautiful girl. SO hard though.

Im Engaged to the most amazing man in the world!!!! Hes sweet.caring.PERFECT! he makes me feel beautiful when he looks at me or kisses me or says my name, but…. imnot

i broke up with my bf. He made me feel so ugly and worthless.
Just wna be confident again.

i want to always feel like i am beautiful.

Ive been the ugly duck most of my life. My confidence has been on the same level – now im in the buisness of chaning my thoughts but in order to be truly succesfull i need to look my best. To be honest – my biggest prolblem is to keep myself motivated to look my best. The things that i want to accomplish is:

1. A feeling of selfworht and self love.
2. I want to learn which clothes that are most flattering for my figure and how to combine them.
3. I want to learn to do my hair and makeup.

To be sucessfull i need to make a plan to know when im done and to set part time goals- aaa this is difficult.

Outside beauty is definitely an asset, but I am more concerned with inner beauty. I am working toward self-awareness, peace and comfort with my own self before I worry about what other people think my outsides look like. Once I have inner beauty, the outside beauty won’t matter.

There was one person early in my life (he came around when I was 4 or 5) that killed my self-esteem. He was a father figure for a good period of time (certainly the longest a father figure has been in my life). He’d joke around (call me chubby, etc.) with the intentions of making a joke. I know we both regret to this day that he did that.

Most of the time I only feel “pretty” when I’m made up, but it takes so much effort sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it.

Some days I feel pretty because I have a ton of self-confidence. These days are few and far between.

I usually just feel stressed, and when I’m under a lot of stress I think very negatively about myself.

I once had a friend who was very pretty but had crap for self-esteem like I do. She was trying to get a guy to like her, but would always try to give up because she wasn’t good enough. Every time she did that I would pinch her on the arm and tell her that she’s beautiful and if he didn’t like her that he was a jerk. She ended up dating him well through high school and I think they’re still together.

I wish I had someone to do that to me (wistful sigh)