stop being used

ok ive met this guy and ive onlyy chilled with him twice so far. hes extremley sweet and before we hung out he was asking me questions lik wat have yu donee n all of that. we r both still virgins and i told him that i just want it to happeni dnt want to plan it and he was lik exactly me too i think its gay when you plan it then n he said he wasnt ready yet i thought this was so sweet when i heard it but now im not sure if hes just agreein with me so that i ll like him more. he keeps telling me that hes not a dick and is way different from other guys and i do believe him. he has mentioned something about the future and us goin out but i dont know if he just wants to for sex. i think maybe that i am seemin to easy and i know guys like challenges. the past to times we’ve been together we pretty much hook up right away and then after lay together for a little while. i really do need help becasue i reaslly lik him n wanna no if this is fake or real i dont wnat to be used again. can someone please give me some advice about wat i can do to know for suree? im seeing him tonight, or how i could tease him or somethin it would be greatly appreciated<3

IVE SEEM TO GET MYSELF IN SOO DEEP AND DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE IT.. LONG STORY SHORT . I MET MY BOYFRIEND WHEN HE WAS STARTING TO GO THROUGH THINGS AND FELT REALLY BAD FOR HIM. I STARTED HELPING HIM FAR AS MONEY AND FOOD AND THEN HE LOST HIS APARTMENT AND I LET HIM MOVE IN WITH ME. I CONTINUE TO HELP HIM AND GIVE HIM MONEY AND PUT GAS IN HIS CAR CAUSE MIND YOU HE DIDNT HAVE A JOB….. BUT I DIDNT HOLD THAT AGAINST HIM I FIGURED EVERY BODY GOES THROUGH HARD TIMES AND HE’LL GET HIS SELF TOGETHER WHEN HE GET THROUGHT HISMEANING GOING TO COURT ALLLLL THE TIME AND GOING TO JAIL … ONLY ON WEEKENDS TO BEGIN WITH">PROBLEMSSOOO THEN I START HAVING PROBLEMS AND I LOST MY JOB. AND THIS IS MAYBE THREE MONTHS AFTER HE MOVES IN. AND I START ASKING HIM TO PLEASE HELP ME CASE M HAVING TROUBLE PAYING THE BILL AND PUTING FOOD IN THE HOUSE FOR ALMOST A YEAR HE SAYYYYYY HE TRYING TO GET A JOB AND HE’S DOING THE BEST HE CAN … BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING AND I JUST KEEP LETTING HIM STAY THERE AND NOT PUT ANYTHING IN…. SOOO BASICALLY HE LIVED WITH ME FOR A YEAR AND NEVER GAVE ME ANY MONEY NEVER PAYED FOR ANYTHING .. WHEN EVER WE WENT OUT I PAYED .. I BROUGHT HIM CLOTHS AND EVERTHING.. WHEN HE DID COME UP WITH ALITTLE BIT OF MONEY HE NEVER ONCE SAID HERE BABE.. HERE’S SOME MONEY TOWARDS THE BILL OR NOTHING… WHEN I SAID I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM I MEAN I DID EVERYTHING….FROM BAILING HIM OUT OF JAIL TO PUTTING GAS IN HIS CAR AAAND PAYING 600 DOLLARS FOR SOME TIRES THAT DIDNT FIT AND NEVER WENT ON THE CAR PLEASE LET ME NOT LEAVE OUT ANYTHING .. WE ARGUSED BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE I WAS MESSING WITH SOME ONE BEHIND HIS BACK AND THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. BUT NOW HE FELT LIKE HE COULD NOT TRUSE ME.. SO THERES MORE PROBLEMS …. THEN I GET PREGNANT AND HE DID NOT WANT ME TO KEEP THE BABY BECAUSE WE WERE HAVING PROBLEMS AND WE REALLY I COULD NOT AFFORD TO STOP WORKING… MEANING IF I KEPT THE BABY THE I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONTINUE TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING ON MY OWN LIKE I BEEN DOING… NOWWWWW .. I VE HAD THE BABY AND SHE’S ONLY A MONTH OLD NOW AND HE JUST NOW STARTING TO HAVE MONEY AND HE STILL WONT DO SHIT FOR ME CAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS TO MUCH STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF .. WE JUST ARGUED ABOUT HIM PUTING GAS IN MY CAR… MEANING HIS OWN SHIT.. HIS ARGUEMENT WAS IF HE WASNT DRIVING IT THEN IT WOULD BE A WATE OF HIS MONEY…... SOME ONE PLEASE TELL ME IF IM CRAZY…..

i constantly fined myself in the same situation over and over again. I hook up with people for months and months and get attached. They tell me they love me and all that good stuff and end up breaking my heart. I’m sick of being lied to and being used.

In college people use each other all the time for ass and perks. In my experience at least one of the people says “I’m not interested in a relationship” and that translates to “I want ass and companionship without any obligations”. This unfortunately can never end well unless you both fall in love with each other b/c people naturally get attached. The worst experience was my most recent though.
So I was “seeing” this girl at college (she was a freshman, I was a senior) and it was off and on in the sense that she was constantly freaking out about something little I would do and saying things like “I’m totally over you”. She had been dumped at the beginning of the year so I was certain the first few times we hooked up she was just looking for ass but after being pretty much exclusive for 7 months I began to let my gaurd down. We both began to get attached and by April we were “together”.
However, we both went through periods of days or weeks at a time worrying about what would happen between us once I graduated and part of me suspected she would want to end things but she always denied that and sounded very happy about us trying it out. She started making plans to see me/asked me about what I liked to do in terms of visiting/etc. Then one day her ex-bf contacted her and asked to be friends again. A day later she IMed me saying she didn’t want to see me anymore. It got exponentially worse as the last few of school unfolded in that she continued to harass me with texts and confessions of how much she hated me.

It is widely accepted that that only guys use girls for ass and while it seems that way it is likely because guys typically don’t admit or realize they are getting used. But it certainly goes both ways. There are warning signs though, the first being age. If you are young (25 or younger) people are incessent about getting laid so if someone says “not interested in a relationship” it may mean they are hinting at the fact that they want to get ass. Unfortunately, that is unrealistic because even the most attached people can’t completely avoid all attachment. Plus, the younger you are the easier it is to get hurt.
The other sign that you may be used is when the other person just wants you at their convenience and don’t seem to return any effort you make for them. Some people are naturally inconsiderate but be weary bc if you want someone being considerate towards you don’t expect them to “learn” how to do it.
Finally, all throughout college I was probably guilty of using two different people, one of which turned into a great relationship that wouldn’t have happened had I not been looking to hook up at a party. That being said, I knew I was getting used most of the times but tried to ignore it for the sake of enjoying the perks…But I go back to the age issue; if you are young protect yourself and if you are looking for something meaningful be patient with people. Goodluck.

when i drink theres usally a whole bunch of guys around but i always talk to atleast one nd get really close to them, then we start kissing nd shit like everyone does…..but when ur drunk u get honry, but idk cause your just a peice of ass to them, i think i become close so to guys alll the time! but they always want moree. but i dont wannna have sex wit them i kinda wanna makeout nd shit nott doo the nasty wit um? do u get wut im saying? cause like i want a boyfriend but i keep on hooking up wit guys nd it doent seem the next day anything comes out of it, its only sex no relationship… couldnt they atleast try nd see if it works? idkk can someone help me cause i wanna find a boyfriend but my way doesnt seem to b helping

I am so nice its unbelieveable! People could be point blank nasty and i would still give them the benefit of the doubt!!
If I do somefin gd I got this one “friend” hu always falls out with me, so instead of been proud of myself and listenin 2 compliments, I run straight after her 2 try and rebuild the bridges! Sigh …
I cant say No and I cant bring myself 2 be mean enough 2 think that someone is lying 2 me even if I have got the gut feeling inside me! Ive got a mate and she sed that I would have fit in if I was living in the 60’s…...charmin eh??....
Anyone got any ideas of how 2 stop believin everyone and actually have some confidence in myself
Mail bk asap xxxxx luv lil’ smell xxxxx

I met a guy a few months ago that I became really interested in. The third time we hung out alone, he asked me when he was going to be able to kiss me. I was actually a little surprised because I really thought he wanted to be just friends. I pretty much smiled it off, but since then he would contact me every day, wanting to take me out to dinner, the movies, etc. After about a month, I felt like we were dating. We talked about our past relationships, what we were looking for and our goals in life. He said he thought his mom would really like me, and he wanted me to meet his friends. Sounded great.

After two months, we got a little more serious. Every time we hung out he would have his arm around me and kiss me. We would end the night with making out and talking about hanging out again. Well, we had sex one night and upon dropping me off at home, he told me “You know I’m not looking for a relationship, right?” Oh my god. I knew that we werent boyfriend/girlfriend, but I did not want to hear that. That should have been the first warning sign that I was being used. He didn’t contact me for a few days, and when he did it was different. I felt the distance building. The next time we hung out (3 weeks later) we had sex again. I’m so sick of myself for putting myself in those situations. I was drunk both times and he was sober. He stopped talking about me meeting his family and friends. What never bothered me before was that practically all of his friends are girls. Beautiful girls. It bothers me so much now because he reserves the weekends for these friends, and I am asked to hang out very late at night when he is done with work or partying.

I am most disappointed with the fact that I gave into what he was curious about. I did not have enough respect for myself to withhold from sex. I became the girl that wasn’t precious enough to bring home to mom and for the friends to meet. I left no mystery to myself. I put down my guard completely and allowed myself to get hurt.

It stung. No, maybe that’s not strong enough of a word. It was a different kind of hurt. I felt, I feel like a complete idiot. I look back and see how naive I really was. What a cliche huh? I’m not really “over” it but I’ve given myself the opportunity to let go by cutting all forms of communication. Suprisingly deleting his number from my phone, as inconsequential as it sounds, was liberating. I used to call it a mistake now I call it experience. If only I could’ve learned this lesson without everyone witnessing. Sigh

It’s nice to see that some guys only talk to me because they think they can sleep with me. I went out last night to my favorite club. I met up with one of my guy friends, well I thought we were friends. I like this guy as a friend, but that’s it. I have talked with him several times about his past girlfriends and his dating problems. I spent much of the night hopping from table to table trying to get away from him. I didn’t want to spend the night baby sitting him. I went into the bathroom and some random girl came up to me and was like you’re Molly right? I said yes. She told me that I was the reason that she wouldn’t get to go out next weekend. I was like excuse me? She told me that she came out with this guy and he told her that he couldn’t give her a ride next weekend because he was going to come home with me. WHAT? I don’t think so. I told her that I would talk to him and make it clear that I will never take him home. I’m not a fucking toy, I’m not interested, and I don’t want to play your stupid games. Thanks for being a friend asshole.

I always find guys that are not good for me. Maybe they don’t care how I feel, they use me to pay for things, or they have bad habits like drinking to much or doing drugs. I find these guys and attach myself to them. I would sacrifice anything for them, putting them above my family and myself. Even when I can clearly see that I would be better off without them, I am still loyal and would stay with them forever being unhappy. I don’t know why I do this. When a relationship ends for me I am so sad and angry when I really should be thankful. I just need to stay away from douche bags and work on myself.