not be afraid

my greatest fear is my dreams. How many people know actually make it to stardom. It seems like a pipe dream. I’ just too afraid to even try

I’m scared of so many things. It cripples me and holds me back.

I never overcome my fear. I’m afraid to face the truth, I’m afraid to lose what I love, I’m afraid of what the future may bring to me, I’m afraid to fail, to get hurt … I don’t trust myself, I always run away from my problems, I always search for easy solutions to escape. I’m too shy, too quiet, people say that I’m too innocent, too sensitive. I wanna change, I can’t carry on like this. I’m lucky to have several friends who always help me to get back on my feet, but … I always give up easily, I never end what I start. I have a lot to show but I hide myself behind a wall of fear. I’m 21 years old, I really should trust myself for I know I deserve better than this, I really do.

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

I spent the first couple of decades of my life with a superhero complex. In the belief that I could do anything that I wanted to. And I did manage to do the things I chose to, which only added to that idea. So when things began to fall apart, I did not know this new feeling. And I began to be overwhelmed with fear. I began to set aside the bigger gambles in life in fear of failures, fear of imaginary things. I have landed up at a point in life where I have begun to fear every possibility in life. Fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of dreams that dont see daylight.

My martial arts training has had a tremendous spiritual effect on me. The training that teaches you to overcome the fear of physical pain in order to survive and overcome what threatens you. This understanding that pain is inevitable. What we do with the pain we feel is the test of skill. It is still a long process, to really overcome ghosts and demons and rebuild the mind as I rebuild my body, to be stronger, better. the first obligatory step out of the retreat.

Today after I mailed to the customer, I knew that he will call me soon, and I was ready to receive his call and prepared how to answer him, as expected, he called me, then I said as I have prepared, I felt so easy then. Preparing more lead one to avoid more troubles.

Yesterday I received my customer’s call, He is a freshman in this field, and asked me some unreasonable questions about the project, he couldn’t listen to me and thought he was right. I couln’t quarrel with him, and still have to listen to him, then explain clearly to him. Frankly speaking, I don’t want to meet these kind of customers. So this always makes me a little afraid, maybe this is because I couln’t deal with this kind of person very well, so I am afraid. Now I have realized this problem, then I will try to face this difficulty to resolve it.

Fuck I’m not afraid anymore! That’s just it.

Recently when I wake up in the morning, something comes to my thought, then I begin to think a lot about the actual life, I begin to be afraid, but at last, I would say to myself: what am I afraid of? Everything goes away. Then I get up.

I am often afraid of the future
I am often afraid of losing the job
I am often afraid of being sick
I am often afraid of …
Why am I so afraid although I am try to live instead of exist?
I am not afraid of being alone,I am not afraid of the death, but I am afraid of living.
I know that is my negative side, I do not consider this problem often before, but recently it appears more and more times, I have to conquer this feeling. I want myself can face all the facts in daily life.
Maybe I do not have enough energy.Maybe I was bothered too much and couldn’t insist myself, then I am afraid that I couldn’t be myself any more.

i don’t want to be afraid any more . what am I really afraid of? it’s just mainly myself ! I don’t want to worry anymore!