Coach myself with IFS on issues with contacting people

As this subject seems very pertinent after myself coaching:

“If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business, because we’d be too cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.”
-Annie Dillard

“There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.
M. Scott Peck

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Mark Twain

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.”
-Leo F. Buscaglia (American guru, tireless advocate of the power of love, 1924-1998)

“You must lose a fly to catch a trout”
-George Herbert

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
-Anais Nin
(that day is creeping up on me because it is getting very painful)

“To hide the key to your heart is to risk forgetting where you placed it.”
Timothy Childers

“TO RISK:
To laugh, is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep, is to appear sentimental
To reach out for another, is to risk involvement
To expose feelings, is to risk exposing our true self.
To place your ideas & dreams before the crowd is to risk loss
To love, is to risk not being loved in return.
To live, is to risk dying.
To hope, is to risk despair.

To try at all is to risk failure.
But to risk we must,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The man, the women, who risk nothing,
has nothing, is not living well.”
-Anonymous 4 years ago

It stands for inner family systems therapy and the idea behind this is that we each have a family of subselves that are often, conflicted, polarized or enmeshed and the goal is to talk/listen to these parts and establish inner harmony and our outside relationship patterns are a reflection of the harmony or dissonance inside.

Some people are uncomfortable with the idea multiplicity and associate it with Multiple personality disorder but I assure you this is not the case and that it is quite natural to have multiple parts. You can think of it as a metaphor conflicting feelings or thoughts.

I’ve read a book and tried some of this stuff and it’s really interesting and gives depth to my never ending journey of self discovery, and it really helps too.

If you want to learn more, I found this really awesome link (there’s a whole in depth site about this if you follow some links on this page)
http://sfhelp.org/01/innerfam2.htm

I can also recommend a book. 4 years ago