learn to make bagels

I’m sick of how the goyim have co-opted and corrupted bagels! When I was a kid in Ithaca, NY, we got bagels every sunday from College Town Bagels, and they were everything a bagel should be. Dense, chewy, flavorful. With proper flavors, like poppyseed and sesame and onion and salt. No blueberry or sunflower seed nonsense.

Now it’s nearly impossible to find real bagels, especially here in New England. Everything is fluffy and doughy like dinner rolls. If I learn how to make bagels the way I remember them, I will open up a bagel shop called “Bagel Nazi”. And I’ll will bust the balls of anyone who asks for strawberry cream cheese.