learn to respect myself

Hi, am trying to find an answer on my own in how to respect myself, I am still seeing my ex-boyfriend who once he was was an ex-husband but lately he treats me like nobody but then he is always says he loves me but that’s it, I love him very much, I like him a lot and he is the only one who looks for me eventually, but he makes fun of me with is friends, he doesn’t want to re-marry me or he has no goals with me for the future we hardly see each other because he is always busy, and I have try to stay away from him or leave him for ever because of the way he treats me but I can’t because I love him and I haven’t met any one else who can love me back, how can I at least have respect for my self, I feel like this is what I deserve or I can ever have so far.

I have never taken complements from people the way i should. I always look at myself as a boy, not a young women. For the years coming, i think i need to learn to respect myself before i respect others.