Respect and take better care of my body

..is the one goal that’s really challenging at the moment. So many promises made and broken. Quite disturbed by this. Must haul a$$ to gym and refrain from buying/storing/consuming those calories-laden food!

Due to the fasting month, I’m able to control what I eat. That’s cause I only eat twice a day – one at 5am for “sahur” and for breaking of fast at 7pm.

I don’t eat as much rice. Haven’t had bread for days now. I need to drink more and take more fruits. Reminds me I should get some bananas later. We normally have some sweet treats during breaking of fast. Mostly local snacks or delicacies which are available aplenty at the Ramadhan bazaar.

Workout-wise, I’ve been on the bike at least three times a week. Work out a good sweat and helps me sleep soundly too. Sleep-wise, I don’t get much mainly cause I seldom go back to sleep after the 5am meal. I’d stay up and read or catch up on work. If I did go back to sleep, it’s hard waking up again to go to work. And it makes feel somewhat bloated too.

So all is well with this goal. The fasting month has given me surprising amounts of energy and a renewed level of commitment where my spiritual and health goals are concerned. Seventeen days to go until the end of the fasting month. I plan to make the most of Ramadhan this year. :)

..I ate two doughnuts before bedtime. My self-control is non-existent sometimes.

Am home on sick leave. I have the full combo – cough, flu and slightly feverish. I sound like Ozzy Osbourne, much to the amusement of my colleague who called me earlier this morning.

I hope I’ll get better soon, time to take my nap. The cough meds are kicking in and I’m beginning to feel woozy..

Of being sick and tired, with how i feel where my weight and fitness level was concerned. So i joined a gym and signed up for personal training sessions. Yes, i need professional help. Apparently psyching myself can only go so far, with minimal results. This begins on Tuesday 25th March.

I had lamb for dinner two nights ago. The first few bites were very good, the ones after that was almost mechanical. It wasn’t great lamb but I ate on anyway. I don’t know if I was truly hungry, but I couldn’t stop.

Last night I had instant noodles for dinner. Instant noodles! Of all things! I bought grapes too, a bag of peanuts and a box of chocolates I picked up at the airport. If that wasn’t a crazy combo, I don’t know what is.

I feel mentally and physically lethargic. I hate how I feel. I don’t have a genuine appetite for anything, yet I eat as if there’s no tomorrow. I can still taste the lamb in my mouth. I feel some remorse from the binge eating but I don’t know if I have it in me to do some thing about this.

I got home 2 hours ago. I hit the bike to work out a sweat. I am considering going to the gym cause when I work out my appetite is somewhat controllable. But committing to a gym is yet a major thing for me. Maybe I’m thinking too far ahead. But I know how I got here, not thinking at all. Not thinking when I ate another bag of chips. Not thinking when I binge on platefuls of carb. Not thinking when I gulp down big pints of creamy, chocolatey frappes. Not thinking, when I do myself in. But overly frightful to make a positive commitment to live and eat healthily.

Too sad, but every bit true.

..two days in a row, for lunch. I didn’t have much for dinner earlier this evening. Right now, my stomach feels queasy. I cannot identify if it’s hunger or the usual bloated feeling. I’m getting kinda worried now..

..for the past 3 days. As planned, faithfully kept to just one serving of rice daily. Refrained from sugary drinks, no cookies, sweets or junk food.

Feel better, less bloated, more energetic. Not by leaps and bounds, nothing too drastic. The weighing scale shows I still have a long way to go where weight-loss is concerned. But that’s mainly coz I weigh myself three times a day. Just me being anal, as usual.

Still, some progress..

..on the only weighing scale that works in my house. The discovery is enough to make me swear off carbs. Well, almost.

But seriously, this is getting out of control. It’s shameful how little self control I have where my food choices are concerned.

Plan of attack – only one serving of serious carb (rice, bread, pasta, etc) daily, for a week.

Wish me luck folks, things are about to get ugly around here. :S

..of what my body should be does not match.

In my head, I am lean and light on my feet. But in reality, I’m as sluggish as Jabba the Hut on his binge days. Seriously.. at least that’s what it feels like.

Yuck!