never lose hope

Music helps make me feel better in a lot of ways, but has never made me feel terribly hopeful, until now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skUJ-B6oVDQ

Fix You by Coldplay makes me feel hopeful. Not just that, it’s the spark that ignited the hopeful powder I’ve been building up inside with affirmations and a growing sense of self worth.

The idea that I am worth fixing is instilled in this song, thus making it a wonderful experience as I haven’t felt that way for a long while.

Now I feel good about life and my future, whatever it will be :D

“Hope is the last to die” he said, as I made my decision clear… but back then he was the desperate one, not I. And now after all this time, I think we have switched places. He found hope and held on to it for years,(until now) and now I’m struggling to grasp even the faintest traces of it.. Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. “Hope is the last to die..”

“Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” – Andy Dufresne

..that change for the better is now more possible than ever.

..that we now have a fighting chance and good odds at turning things around at work.

..that we now have a strong and capable leader who will lead us through this and towards greatness.

..that we will finally become team, in every sense of the word.

..that victory is within our reach and that this is worth fighting for.

Something happened at work today. Something good. A close friend of mine got promoted. I was one of the first few people he told. When he asked me what I thought about it, I said that I was greatly encouraged by this development. And I mean every word I said.

This friend of mine has gone through a lot lately. But I’ve seen him bounce back from so many disappointments, heck.. he’s a human rubber ball! I know he’s been feeling really down lately, even to the point of doubting his future with the organisation. I was genuinely concerned for him. But I couldn’t do much coz the last time I tried, it kinda backfired. So I’ve chosen to lay low and trust that the one who matters will do what needs to be done. Turns out my faith was not misplaced.

I pick my battles everyday. It’s just too much work to win every single one when I know this war is far from over. What are we up against? Apathy. Indifference. Complacency. Delusional beliefs. In-fighting. Mediocrity.

I feel like everything I’ve gone through during the last 10 years have prepared me for this. While I know I am far from ready to go full force on this, make no mistake.. I intend to see this through til the very end.

..when one is well-rested. I should also say sleep, but my so far, weekend insomnia is keeping me productive.

After some time, I’m becoming optimistic again where the coming days are concerned. I don’t dread all the things I have to do, instead I patiently process them in the order of importance, not just urgency.

I really must not forget the rewards I reap when I take a moment to be kind to myself.

and the topic steered towards environmental-related issues. My friend was commenting that the way things are going, it seems to be worsening at an exponential rate; global warming, melting icecaps, etc.

He lamented that perhaps there isn’t much we can do individually if the big polluters and causes are left unaddressed. He even suggested that someone invented a big vacuum of sorts to suck out all the CO2, freeze it or release it in a way that isn’t harmful. I jokingly described a future world where every city is encased in a bio-dome since the “outside world” is too polluted to sustain life and mitigating effort was only possible on a smaller, contained scale. We both agreed that the situation seems hopeless. And then I remembered this goal…

It seems like lately that life has been testing my spirit in so many different way. The worst has been that my father was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in January of this year. The day after he retired we heard the news and now fighting this cancer has become his recent full time job. In the end all we really have is hope.

..to have friends who give me hope. They tell me to hang on even if all signs tell me to throw in the towel and just cave. Their sincerity and passion fuels my spirit when I’m almost running on empty. My friends, both real and virtual, reassure me that while life is a struggle, it is still worth living, in every sense of the word. And that I matter, not just because I exist, but because I can and do make a difference.

..this was very, very hard to do. It’s one of those days when you go.. “what’s the bloody point….?”. Sigh…