be nice to my body

but my head and my doctor tell me I am and of all the things you should listen to, it’s your head. Your doctor is less of a sure thing, it depends if you like them or if you believe scientific research headlines in the local news, lets say for arguments sake I should listen to my doctor. He has an irish accent and big round thinking eyes after all.

One thing is certain though my headache is most definitely not going away, it’s been more than forty days and living in denial about being stressed is not helping, so I’m going to go with (for arguments sake) that I am stressed and that I need to employ stress busting devices to make me better.

First up is some alternative therapies. I’ve been reccommended some hard tissue treatment, I think this is like a very intense massage. It’s not cheap, but a relatively small price to pay for being pain free. Ahh pain free I literally don’t remember what that’s like.

Also my evenings are going to be relaxing times (at least for the next week)I usually do some sort of art work, but I’m going to have to cut back on that for a bit. I’m so shattered when I come home, any work I do won’t be of my usual standard anyway.

Sundays will be my watch a DVD in bed and cuddle my cat day.

There that should do it for now. I’m off for what I hope will be a nice short meeting then home for a lavendar bath. Super!

all my symptoms are now pointing towards cluster headaches which I thought were a form of migraine but apparently they’re not, although they are similar. I’d never seen a doctor baffled but when I went back to see him he didn’t answer my questions for whole minutes and ummed and ahhed as he looked at stuff on the doctor internet. Then after he had given me a mammoth supply of uber strong painkillers and kept telling me not to drink on them because that can trigger a migriane/clusterache I thought it might be okay to have a sneaky half pint and well that was the worst thing I could ever do because I woke up with the stinkiest head pain and had to take three of the damn painkillers to even take the edge off, not altogether that would be silly. I took one first which didn’t work then two a few hours later. They made my trip to the shop much more enjoyable than usual.

I also discovered that migraines/clusteraches shut down your stomach and find it harder to digest stuff which is why normal painkillers can’t get into your system, the painkiller I’m taking also does a thing that I can’t remember exactly which relieves the nausea meaning I can now digest them hurrah! I’ve been off food lately which is really annoying cos food is ACE! It’s quite funny I don’t really remember what it’s like not to have a headache and I know it should be getting me down but I’m okay with it. The only thing I’m annoyed at is not having much energy and I’m starting a new job next week and have some freelance deadlines so energy is much needed at the moment. I may have this pain for another 60 days which would be rotten. On the up side I’ve bought fancy new bed linen so it just means I can enjoy them much more than normal.

Oh dear I think I must be stressed or something because my migraine has come back just as bad as it was when I first got it. Today is day 22 and I’m utterly shattered all of the time. Last night I was too tired even to watch the telly I just went straight to bed and today some stupid idiot is taking photographs outside my window and the flash is really hurting my head. Even my new painkillers aren’t working properly. I’ve started a migraine diary of all the food I eat and how bad the pain is, today it’s pretty bad and I’ve only had a sandwich and I’m getting dizzy again which I only usually get before a migraine kicks in. All I can think about is going home and sleeping forever but that’s still two hours away which in itself feels like forever.

The thing is I don’t feel stressed out, I feel perfectly happy. Sure I’ve had to pack up my entire life to move house and work has been really busy but other than that I am feeling quite happy. I had a bit of an off day last week where I basically cried at a nurse and a receptionist because no one would help me with my migraine but this is possibly more down to wanting some killer drugs than anything else. I’ve also completely cut down on chocolate, fried food and cheese which are migraine triggers so I’m completely baffled as to why it’s still here. I suppose I should go back to the doctors again, I’ll wait a few more days and give my painkillers a chance to kick in and then go back.

I don’t know what it is but my migraines are steadily getting worse and worse each time I get an attack, which thank god isn’t too often, my last one was in February and the one before that was two years previously but they seem to last for ages. The last one lasted nearly 3 weeks and this one is nearly at a week. The internet tells me that regular migraines last about 72 hours, the internet lies!! Unless I have the bad migraine which can last 6 weeks but I don’t think I have because I haven’t got the Aura symptoms that come with it. Anyway I just thought I’d have a little rant because I’ve spent the day in bed in a darkened room that is too damn light even with the curtains drawn.

I might try the really strong painkillers the doctor prescribed the last time I had one which I’m afraid of taking, if that doesn’t work I’m going to demand a brain exchange… any takers?

I don’t know why, I forgot to ask, I also forgot to ask for a sick note. Bugger!

I had my keyhole surgery last thursday and bloody hell does it hurt, but I like my war wounds, they look cool. I’m not going to know if anything is actually going on in there until I get my stitches out next wednesday, but I suspect if the bone is still in there then my knee is going to continue locking and all this pain has been for nothing yeouch!

nearly two years after I had initially twised my knee cap, countless visits to the doctors (who insisted I needed Physiotherapy even though I complained for months that something more serious must have happened) and many many referrals to Physio, I am finally getting my knee operation. They found an extra bone in my knee, I’ve named it Horace, I hope I get to keep it when they take it out.

I have a migraine. All this boy stress is making my head hurt.

and it’s going well. Finally got round to trying my Keeenwah (Quinoa) which has been sitting in my cupboard for months. It’s luuush. I reccommend it, I’m labelling it as the new cous cous.

Eating lots of plums too, plums are yummy.

Passed some choc cookies on my way to the photocopier, I resisted and thought about Keeewah and nuttiness instead, it was worth it

Edit: I just put this under a different goal before, hope all this healthy eating isn’t heightening my dippiness.

Physio for me. I never got referred to a spacialist, but then maybe I don’t need to. I’m pretty much tired of the whole knee thing now so I’m not going to argue. They gave me strong painkillers, they are pink, that made me happy.

One thing I was told was to ‘watch’ my weight, because all the pressure goes on my knees. She didn’t tell me to lose any but I might try to anyway, it seems I have weak knee joints so a little can’t hurt. Maybe now that I have a medical reason to lose weight I might actually do it. Oh I hate diets.

I’m going to do a 5 day detox, because that’s good for the mind too, and I still get to eat rice. I’m so please rice is good for you, imagine a world without rice, it would be awful.

Boots have a range of detox products so I’ll try that. I guess I’ll have to just cut out all the crap, but that’s harder said than done.

Oh I hate diets.

I’m off to the Docs tomorrow to yet again get my knee fixed up, it hurts a lot. Decided when i woke up on Thursday morning to stop working and now it is so sore, i can walk but not very far and not for long. I’ve lost my wheelchair and given my walking stick away, i wanted to buy new boots and go dancing, but I think it was the dancing that did it in.

One thing I’m going to practise tonight is how to be firm and demand to see a specialist, which was the original plan when I twisted my kneecap last year. I’m seeing the nice doctor, so hopefully I will finally get it sorted. If not then I may have to learn how to be assertive. Oh dear.