appreciate my parents while I still have them

and will continue this.
I have found that link in my mind/ heart/ to my parents again but this time as an adult…
and I don’t forsee it ever going away….

They had let me borrow a car, and was returning it on Sunday. And what did I find in their own neighborhood??? A used excercise bike with a FREE sign on it. The man said the chain had come off. So I went and got my dad. Dad and his neighbor checked it out… and TA-DA… they get the chain on!! But then notice a belt had come off as well…sigh….
We took it to dad’s and off course…he tinkers with it, and in no time.. I HAVE AN EXERCISE BIKE!!! YEAH DAD!!!!
He has always been able to fix just about everything… except toasters.. or maybe that was just laziness??? THere was one point I can recall we had 6 broken toasters in the basement!! As they broke.. he would put them down there to “fix” them, but you can’t live without a toaster, so he would go buy a new one. THis went on for YEARS. Mom finally threw them all out!!! HA HA HA Gotta love him…

is trying to get one of my brothers and I closer. I have two brothers… The eldest of them … I have always looked up to, and we are very close, can talk about ANYTHING.. when he comes from out of state..the first thing we do is have a huge bear hug.
The younger of the two… we hardly ever talk, in fact I cannot remember the last time we spoke on the phone… I know we didn’t on christmas.. we just aren’t close. He was here visiting this weekend, and we had dinner with my folks last night. We did not hug – we never do. It was a nice dinner, chit chat.. nothing personal at all.. I went home..that was it.
As dad drove me home I got sort of a lecture about this distance between my brother and myself. I told him it just isn’t them same relationship as my other brother… he wants me to “break the ice” next time he comes up by “hugging” him when I see him. He said that because I am the female, I need to make the first move… I listened to dad go on about this.. biting my tongue.
When I got home I let it all out… WHY should I have to HUG someone, even if it is family, that makes my skin crawl????
I know dad, being in his late 70’s means well by saying this… but he does not understand my body issues, my space issues.. Hell I don’t hug him either!!! Bet that didn’t even cross his mind while he was giving me this “speech”.
Don’t get me wrong… I don’t hate either my father or my brother… I just have been through things that make me overly sensitive to bodily contact.. As a matter of fact I would bet money that I probably can count on one hand the number of hugs I have given my mother in the past year..and maybe have a finger or two left ovrer… I am just not a hugger.
Wish I could get him to understand this…
But I probably can’t…. which is too bad, we have so many things that create walls as it is.

And before you actually realize it, the day has come where you wake up to a silence that can never be filled again no matter how much you wish for your parents to be back if only to hear their voices one last time. What is so strange is that even as I write this knowing I need to love them and cherish them more, it can never be enough so to avoid such a fate but yet I will continue to try regardless.

So today my husband brought up how I should be greatful for all of the things my parents have given me. He told me I should write them down. Then put those thoughts into a letter and give them to my parents. What an awesome idea! I should challenge him and say hey I will do it if you will.

Its wonderful we get together each week and have dinner! This next month (April) my goal is to hang out with my parents besides having dinner every Sunday.

On the other side of the states right now they are in Sedona..And they have called me almost every night to check on me!! They worry about me… feel like they have to keep track of my mood swings.. I love them!!! But I feel like I am ruining their trip!! But they do sound like they are having fun…like they are trying not to think about what mom is facing, which is good cause there is nothing they can do right now. They come back late on Monday. Dad asked me if I wanted any Native American jewelry and since I don’t wear anything but my watch and this silver cuff …I declined, told him to bring me back a piece of red rock!! He thought it was a joke at first..but I said I really want a piece..so he said he would!!! They are great!!!

Yesterday my parents came over for dinner! Which was great and we palyed uno. I had a wonderful time. I look forward to spending more time with them

my parents are amazing people. they have their faults and some serious issues, but they love me more than life itself. they are unselfish, forgiving people who will one day make awesome grandparents to my children. i can’t wait.

my mom has high blood pressure. she smokes. she drinks. she’s overweight. the women in my family have serious health problems and she’s going to be the same way. i bought her a blood pressure machine for her birthday, and i hope she puts it to good use. i can’t live without her.

So every Sunday my husband I eat at my parents house. We eat and run since I have homework and what not. I need to spend more time with them on a weekly bases. Next week they are coming to our house for dinner. I need to in better contact with them. The live about five minutes away.