Release my inner vixen

My best friend has signed on in my quest for inner and outer vixen(-ing? -ish? -isation?).

Not sure how i should react, but bless her for being a willing accomplice. Apparently step one is new underwear, so she will be dragging me to Ann Summers. Well I say dragging… :D

..yeah…

My inner vixen used to rattle the cage regularly, but lately she’s been feeling a little subdued. Time to wake her up and put her to work says I!

Had a fine time at the Fantasia party last night. Had some laughs, and learned some things I didn’t know (as well as a couple things I didn’t want to know!).

Jenn, because we can’t have you bristling or dying of curiosity ;o) let me introduce you to my purchases: this,this, and this.

I could easily have spent a fortune – there were so many products and toys I want to try!! But we’ll start slowly… these are all pretty tame because, well, you know, my vixen is still pretty bashful.

Marty was asleep when I got home, so he still doesn’t know what I bought – or how I intend to use it (mwa ha ha ha).

and wreaking havoc all over the place. :) My own inner work here is done. Now to continue to nurture her and give her her due, the attention she deserves on a regular basis. Let her roam, do not confine her to her den. The next step is to integrate her more functionally into my daily life and preductivity. I’ve found that one’s sensuality, one’s sense of one’s sexual self, can drive one forward in myriad ways. Energy of any sort, after all, is energy.

Thank you to the special 43Ters who provided me with opportunities and partnership to coax her out of hiding, and for your support and recognition as she emerged. You know who you are, sweet friends. You’ve enhanced my life, really.

And Rin, I have not forgotten our partnership in this, sweet soul sis. I am marking this done, but ever exist to help you coax that sexy, shiny babe out of hiding, in her time, and yours. {{{{{Rin}}}}}

My Mom bought me this pretty little silver vixen pendant – just cuz she loves me. As Jenn would say, my heart is full.

Something so eerie and magical happened last night: I saw out my bedroom window what I momentarily thought was a large, crumpled brown bag. Until it moved. At that moment, even though my eyes wouldn’t focus right away, I KNEW it was a fox.

I live in the heart of a busy city (pop: 350,000 ish), almost right down town. I have never in my life seen a fox up so close, and in fact, I think I’ve only ever seen one little red fox ever! But now, mere days after I decided to release my own inner vixen, this magnificent auburn creature shows up to lounge care-free in the overgrown grass of my back yard.

We watched her for a while, and occasionally she looked to us with alert curiosity too. In the hope of snapping a decent photo, we crept closer and closer to her, to which she seemingly paid no mind. She gave herself a wee bath, put her head down to nap awhile, and looked up only to check out some nearby scampering squirrels, and one plane that flew overhead. We watched her in awe for at least 15 minutes, until she eventually stood, stretched briskly, and trotted easily off behind our shed.

I guess I cannot explain fully here, in this public forum, just how coincidental this occurrence is for me, but I am beside myself with intrigue and wonder.

take her to a pole-dancing lesson or two (can you say “stripper school”??), since they’re offered at the fitness studio and I’m already paying for unlimited classes anyway!

_{[inner vixen quivers with excitement, outer-clod quakes with fear!]}

I spent part of yesterday reading a book titled “Organic Body Care Recipes: 175 Homemade Herbal Formulas for Glowing Skin and a Vibrant Self” (Storey Publishing, 2007). Although I’ve only read a couple of chapters, I was moved this morning to employ some of the author’s suggestions (e.g., gentle all-over body brushing before the shower, invigorating scalp massage during shower, dabbing on alcohol-free toner after shower). All the while I imagined my skin as soft as a baby’s, my hair shining, and my face aglow with clean healthy skin.

I feel much better about my curves when I’m pampering myself in these delicious ways. I simply feel more feminine when I’m doted on, even if it’s me doing the doting.

First things first – I had to look up “vixen” to find out just precisely what it is I’ll be releasing. And lo, it’s a female fox. Hm. I didn’t know that.

Then I Googled “be foxy” – that didn’t yield anything helpful. In fact, after several dedicated minutes, the only idea to come of my research was to dress up as a fox for Halloween. I guess that’s something! hehe

I’ve only ever felt attractive at my thinnest and flirtiest, and the women I think of as sexy also tend to be either outta-this-world beautiful OR sort of, well, slutty! So for me, releasing my inner vixen may begin with a paradigm shift.

Here I am pondering how I can broaden my view of ‘sex appeal’, and all I can think about is that Friends episode in which Monica is trying to seduce Chandler by holding a box of KD under her chin; rubbing her hand against her leg, carrots splayed out in a fan between her fingers; and circling a giant steel butcher knife over her belly! Needless to say – NOT sexy. Just awkward and nervous, to which, sadly, I can relate.

Still, I’ll give this a go. No doubt my co-vixen, the lovely sexerciser Jenn, will set a shining example of how to unleash the beast ;o)