make it happen or get over the desire to

but I am coming to terms with the idea that it probably won’t happen. That idea doesn’t seem so tragic anymore either….

It’s hard to say. My feelings swing back & forth. One moment I think I am fine & over it, then something small happens that throws me for a loop & I realize that a secret part of me still wants it very much.

a part of me really wants to just try….I keep racking my brain as to how…

I have had a strong desire to pursue & that desire has grown, but in one case it may be starting to shrink, and I am glad.
There are some things you just have to let go of or you’ll go ill with disappointment.

is just soooooo ridiculous.
I just don’t know how I could ever make this happen….realistically.

I will have to get over it.