learn how to relax

All week I have had a strange knot of pain at the front of my chest. I can’t take deep breaths, even though I know I have a few bits and pieces to be anxious about, I’m not doing too badly, but this is a bit strange.

Haven’t actually got a lot on at work right now, and feeling pretty lazy. I am panicking every so often that someone will think I’m lazy. I need to remember though, that the last year has been so hectic that anything less than breakneck speed would feel slow to me.

..no time for this today – need to get a contract translated from English to Spanish and need to write script for bosses by tomorrow morning! Slight panic mode.

My shoulders etc are the same as before, but at least now I can loosen my shoulders slightly, they’re not so tight and tense.

Every time I check I have chest pain, tense shoulders and a racing heart – this is when I am supposed to be relaxing i.e. reading, watching TV, talking to someone. Really, how does one get past this?

My eCouch module has an exercise for me which is a meditation/deep breathing exercise. But I can’t do it!! I start and within seconds I am thinking about work/family/whatever. Try again and…no, can’t. Will keep trying as this is affecting my physical health.

Husband and moi have found a great game on XBox Live, a realtime trivia quiz against other players. Nos defendemos bien, as he would say.

OK, feel a bit desperate today. Have an anxiety disorder which has not been helped by my utterly hellish day at the office. Trying to manage this, but I am so tense I’ve twisted my neck and can barely move it, but trying to do exercise to stretch it. Always notice my shoulders are around my ears and I just can’t switch off. At night when trying to sleep I even have to unclench my fists and jaw, I hate being like this, but I can’t remember a time I felt able to relax properly. What can I do?

Learning how to relax is something I would really like to do and not only that, its something I need to do. I’m starting tonight, by staying at home and resting and watching movies.

woo hoo