learn how to relax

After years of never relaxing, my poor 20 year old body decided to attack itself. Anxiety issues, clinical depression, OCD, eating disorder, BDD- you name it.

It is my life goal to find out the secret of relaxing… and never forget that secret.

Learning how to relax is something I would really like to do and not only that, its something I need to do. I’m starting tonight, by staying at home and resting and watching movies.

woo hoo

...it’s fairly difficult to relax when, for the second time in your life, your office and the surrounding streets are within a police cordon.

Although I am in the basement watching tennis working so I don’t have to see any of this stress-ness going on. Yet.

I wonder if we’ll be able to leave early?

So I have some guidelines for a bit o’ meditation and am going to try it for a bit tonight. I have a feeling that this will take some practice though.

I’ve always said that I “never relax” but I mostly thought I was joking. But I discovered today that actually I really never relax.

It’s not like I have too much trouble sleeping, or that I always feel stressed out or wired, but I never seem to completely switch off, chill out etc. I’m always doing something or thinking about something or worrying about something. It’s not that I feel strung out or wrung out or particularly exhausted by it, but I’m aware that it’s not healthy. And I’ve started to get headaches from where my shoulders are all tense.

I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to go about “being less tense” but it’s going to be something I shall have to learn.

I am in Gulf Shores this week and I am going to try my best to do nothing. That may sound ridiculous, but it’s really hard for me. I am already stressed out beyond belief right now from being trapped with my family for over 24 hours. It’s going to be a very long week. I believe that there is going to have to be a great deal of alcohol involved in order to make this work.

sucks at relaxing??? Okay besides ME? lol.

I ditched the therapist because it just got to be a money suck and nothing else but I’ve recently started a 101 Things in 1001 Days and put relaxing on it so I have a total of 1001 days to get this relaxing thing right!

Think that will be long enough? ;)

I’m currently seeing a therapist who specializes in helping people with chronic pain. We’re working on teaching me how to relax because while it sounds silly the truth is I don’t know how to just relax and do nothing. I always have to be doing something while I’m suppose to be relaxing.

So we’re working on it and hopefully one day soon I can add this to the things I’ve done list. :)

Since I don’t have adrenal glands, learning to relax is more of a “do it or have a stroke/heart attack” kind of thing than anything else. Since I’d really rather not be doing that this young I suppose I really must learn to relax. :)

That and stress makes my FMS and CMP worse! Ugh.