remain abstinent until I'm in a loving relationship

I know that he doesn’t love me or want me, but it’s hard because I do love him and want him. I had sex again for the first time in a year and a half, with the same guy that I last had sex with and got pregnant by. I don’t know what I feel about this. I love him and I like being with him. I’m confused.

that I started this goal up and people have actually joined the fight with me.
I have issues with sex and not attaching it to emotion but now I am back on trying to save myself in order to collect good karma coins, maybe later on I’ll be able to cash ‘em in for a good man.
We’ll see.

I’m still feeling pretty strongly about this goal. I feel that this is very important to my future and happiness in my life. The guy that I am still in love with and trying to get over really makes me feel like a loser sometimes lol. I get so upset and then I realize that what he’s doing with his life, is what I am so tired of doing in my life… It just hurts that he tells me that he loves me and cares about me, but he won’t even allow me to give him a hug or anything. And he tells me all these things about how he doesn’t mess with a bunch of girls and all that and then I find out that he’s talking to like.. three girls at the same time. That shit really breaks my heart. Why do these girls that mean “nothing” supposedly to him get his affection so easily, when I truly care about him and love him and I’m not even allowed to touch him… I can deal with the fact that he will date other girls, but what kills me is the possibility that he will never come back to me.

“Keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open.” -Tupac

I’ve realized how empty sex makes you feel if you continue to do it with people that mean absolutely nothing to you (as well as people you mean nothing to). It’s taken a toll on me. I used to be promiscuous and give it up easy to guys and they would walk all over me. Back then I didn’t care because I was getting what I wanted out of them too, but when I look back I realize how bad it made me feel in the end. It really hit me when I had sex with my best friend and he meant the world to me and I thought that he had feelings for me too, turns out that he didn’t though. So I got dissed and he doesn’t love me and now I’m pregnant with his baby. I just want us to be a family and everything but he doesn’t love me.

This has turned me off from sex so much that I don’t think this will be a very hard goal for me to achieve. I don’t want to waste my time and my body on someone that doesn’t care for me. There is too much to risk and even though he is still my best friend and is there for me, it’s very hard to go through a pregnancy without intimacy and love from that person you made a child with. I love my son already and I know that he does too, but the next time I have sex and go through a pregnancy I want to make sure it’s with someone that is going to love me and care for me through out it.

Well I need to do this because I’m tired of giving away something so valuable to someone who isn’t worthy of it…

I just don’t put myself in situations where I could be tempted. Voila.

nope.

I’m a stupid whore when I drink.

I am never getting drunk again.

(November 28th) was exactly 5 months of no doin’ it.

TMI alert?

I’ve never had sex while in a relationship.
Lost my virginity in a very beautiful way, but wasn’t in a relationship with the guy, Jeff. Then I had sex with a “friend”, Christian. He’s a manwhore, so definitely wasn’t his girlfriend, nor would I want to be. Got pressured into having sex with Cody…never again, I’ve since learned to say no if it doesn’t feel right. Hooked up with my first ex-boyfriend, Asher, after he lost HIS virginity, but wasn’t in a relationship with him. Then the last time I had sex it was with Terry about 3 months ago. I liked him a lot, and a relationship was pretty much guaranteed but due to the circumstances, it fell through.

So that’s 5, and I’m not going any further until I have a boyfriend who I care about immensely and vice versa.=) It’s not going to be too hard, really, as the only time I’m EXTREMELY tempted is when I’m drunk, and that’s not going to happen again until next month. Even then, I won’t end up having sex with anybody because I’ll be in a city where I know only one person, and I’m not having sex with some random.

Yay? Ha.