*~ Serenity ~* Is...?...

Done

Today I went to the gas station. My car was on empty, I needed oil, brake fluid. It was starting off to be one of those sad sad days.

I was talking to Christina, she works there.

I heard this voice come from the store on the opposite end of the truck stop.

“Look at you Mama” I knew immediately who it was. I turned, smiled and said Hi.

I was putting things up on the counter to buy and going back for the rest {children need yummies for breakfast you know}

“what are you doing?”

“getting things for the kids, so when I go to school”

“I seen you walking in Mama, you were squinting those beautiful eyes. The sun bothers you? Don’t you have sun glasses”

“No, the kids have kind of taken them over. How are you?”

“I’m fine, let me buy this stuff for you.”

“no, that’s okay, thank you anyway. I have to hurry and get to class. Christina, take him first honey I have a few other things to get”

He yells from the other side of the store, I’ll talk to you later Pretty Women, It was nice seeing you…

I get back to the counter, he had laid these expensive sunglasses with my stuff, bought every thing I had on the counter and paid for my car to be filled up.

Now what do you do to something like that. I have no way of giving him his money or glasses back. I have no clue where he lives {wouldn’t go there anyway} I won’t call him.

So do I count this as a blessing or try to give it all back?

I mean So Very Sad, and I am tired of trying to play the happy positive person. I’ve hidden it for days and walked around it, I’ve not talked about how I feel, or the things that have hurt me.

I’ve just let every thing slide and go and I’ve free flowed it.

I’m really sad, I won’t talk about it, who wants to hear that drama right. Besides I wouldn’t want to make others smile about that now would I.

Man, I guess it does get worse doesn’t it.
I just don’t know what to do. I wish someone could help me with this one. Times like this I miss having a partner.

OH Well fuck me if I’m not the joke right.

... I got Super Cheered… I got Super Cheered.

Now that just made me smile and I will all day long.

I Love you Todd.

for 10 minutes then, drink lots of coffee.

LMFAO

...SO VERY SAD…

Lucy died today, I just got back from burying her.

I took my favorite sheet to wrap her in. James {brother in law and Andrew, nephew} helped dig the hole {oh how I hate that word at the moment}

My sister, Dannette helped me put her in the ground and I covered her, near the end James told me to go away and he would finish filling it in. I didn’t, I wanted to make sure it was right.

Dannette told me to stop that it was enough and I just stood up and walked from the clearing up the path and to the house. I went straight to my car and drove away.

I never told them thank you. I will tomorrow.
I’ll tell them tomorrow.

...Completely Awake…

So I think I will hang out some laundry, maybe do a few dishes.
Play on the computer. What DO you mean I should be studying. WTF

I have all these wonderful, quiet hours and you want me to study.

What the hell is wrong with you anyway…

...Drinking…

...about DONE…

...Full of questions….