discover who i am

One thing on my 43 things list is to move out. My address is with my parents but I live with my boyfriend. I was dying to move out of my parents house b/c they make me so upset that I cry every time I go there and can’t think and am just frustrated. That is only a place for destruction. Then I moved in with my bf. It’s much more peaceful and I am hardly ever upset. So now I’m okay. But I want to be HAPPY. My bf is freakin’ awesome, so freakin’ sweet. But I want to live on my own so I can do more for myself and discover myself more. I explained that to him. We agreed that we will miss each other but he understands that I have to do what I have to do for myself and he says he will support me through that!

WORTH LIVING KING SIZE!

Accept and learn from my past
Understand my feelings

and I feel like I have made my identity something that is related to my material possessions. I have almost always bought designer clothes and other items. I have always been so sensitive to people looking down on me for not having the “latest” of anything. People DO judge you on that sort of stuff. I guess what I am saying is I really don’t want to care anymore.

It just seems like this has defined me. What do I do with my precious time when I am not shopping or cleaning the “stuff” out of my closet to make room for new? I wasn’t raised like this. I was raised by a mom that didn’t care about that kind of stuff. People did look down on her, but she didn’t care. She was a wonderful human being.

I have traveled a LOT in my life and seen so much. I did all of this by myself, and this did help tremendously. I married late in life (at 44) and I have no children, so it wasn’t those traditional things that defined me.

I am tired of defining myself in meaningless ways. I know who (or, rather, whose) I am spiritually, so its not in that area whatsoever. I guess I am just wanting to leave the old materialistic me behind! I am so ready!

I married at 16 years old and have been married to the same wonderful man for 30 years. I have three fantastic boys. I am currently working on coursework to be a Licensed Professional Counselor, but I don’t really know who I am. These are the roles I fill. I want to gain a deeper understanding of who I am.

yay
my tummy hurts
i like gum
and toast
gum and toast
but not at the same time
well maby, but youd have to have one side of your mouth for gum and one side for toast and that sounds like alot of work
is it alot or a lot?
hmm…
we should all just drink some juice

but I am happy with where I am at in life. I feel like my life is on track and headed in a positive direction for sure. Letting go and letting God was the best thing I have ever done.

i havent been on 43things for quite some time and that saddens me so im adding it to my list of shit to do in my head because the things that arnt on my 43things list always get done first
so yeah, ill be on more
you know, unless im gang raped and murdered

In science, we were working on this group project on weather. My group found this line graph on weather in some city with a funny name, not sure which one. I thought the graph was funny because in Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too, Tigger bounces up to the top of a tree and gets stuck because he cant bounce down so the narrator has to turn the book on it’s side so he can walk down the words. The graph reminded me of that. Then my group got bored because weather is quite dull so we started talking about South Park. We were all laughing and so my science teacher came over, looked at the graph and said, “Yes, I see your graph is very funny”. I argued that it was funny and told him about the Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too story. He asked me what I had for breakfast.

Then, on the train going home, a guy dressed as a wizard sat next to me and started talking about how much he hates Paris Hilton. He wasn’t to pleased with the online petition asking Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her. He said, and I quote, “I am not only New York’s only wizard, but a deep moralist. AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!”

I didn’t think it was fair to assume that he was the only wizard in New York.

the world record for the most number of children is 69
if i had 69 kids, once i could walk again i would leave 67 of them in the woods